Turning Nocturnal?

I guess it's partly because of the studying that needs to be done which can't be done due to the many distractions. So, there are 9 systems to cover of which 2 of them needs revision since the past Summative which was a total nightmare. Why do I say that it's a nightmare? It's because I could not answer at least half of the whole paper correctly and I know because I went for the feedback session. Yeap, it was that bad for me and it feels like for the first time in my life, that I am failling. I am falling. So, if I don't pick it up somehow, I'm in trouble. Don't you think?

Anyway, how's progress for me? It has been alright I guess, though not so fast and it's worrying definitely. So out of the 7 systems which needs to be done, I've only done 3 which means there are 4 systems to cover and 2 to revise. It sounds like impeding doom. :/ Yeah, an extra week sure would make a lot of difference now that I've gotten a taste of "tough" in exams and I don't like the taste of it.

I borrowed a book from the library and I refer to it every now and then. I realised that many questions from my Summatives came out from there. Perhaps they are common questions which I didn't know how to answer. After all, there isn't much practice that a student can get besides from the question bank of which many wouldn't bother trying because it's just way too difficult to comprehend. Like the many times I've told my friends, I'm just hoping for the best now that I would somehow remember what I've studied or read because understanding isn't a problem. It's remembering what was studied.

Aahh.. just another week to study hard before the pouring of information on the exam papers. Until then, mugging still needs to be done.

#33

10 things I want to do after my exams:

1. Play the piano for one whole day
2. Listen to music whole day and read novels
3. Clean my room so that I won't need to see the files and books for the next few months
4. Start going for random outings/trips and take pictures of people and with people.
5. Movies? Dramas? Nah... Trips! Trips to Malacca, PWTC, KLPac, Actor's Studio...
6. DANCE --> OMG, how could I put this as no. 6? It should have come in first.
7. Pool, bowling and swimming... Yes, I can float and swim.
8. Lunch and dinner with friends who are flying off before I get my exam results.
9. Window shopping for dresses :)
10. Bake ^^ I want to try cookies this time but I doubt it'll work. >.<

Sleep is not part of the list. I'm already getting enough sleep these days. I'm also up to date with the tv series and dramas. So, I don't think I'm looking forward to anything in that aspect.

About

Currently in Clinical School, the past 2 1/2 years have been great in Bukit Jalil. The previous About Me.

Dancing and playing the piano are non-web-related hobbies. I like taking pretty pictures. I'm a seasonal emotional cupcake baker. I make jokes which my friends would give me the You're-Lame-Look. I haven't been doing much of art stuff but when I have the inspiration, idea and time, I would most definitely. I am also a series addict:

90210, Covert Affairs, Glee, Grey's Anatomy, House, Make It or Break It, Medium, Pretty Little Liars, Private Practice, Royal Pains, Supernatural, White Collar are series that I follow. I'm sure there's more than the mentioned. I can't remember all the series which I follow.

I'm still talkative and loud but only in front of friends who I'm close too. I LOVE dresses! I'm a cake and biscuit person. I can multitask. I believe most girls can. And, I'm random sometimes without realising it.

Email: yunnpei89[at]gmail.com

"Hello"

My favourite song in Glee is the cover 'Hello' sang by Lea Michele and Jonathan Groff, originally by Lionel Richie. Thanks to my brother, I've got the songs Here are the lyrics...

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you

oooh yeaah

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you

Is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
(wonder what you do)
Are you somewhere feeling lonely
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by sayin
I love you

#32

Aahh great... Now, my sleep cycle is hay-wired. It's not that I don't want to sleep. It's just that I'm not tired yet. I'm strangely awake like how I got up more than 12 hours ago but not that alert. I didn't even nap. =.= I don't even feel like studying. I know some people wake up at this time to study. Got to go to uni at 10.30am tomorrow for OSCE practice. *sigh*

I've been thinking too much. I've been trying to figure things out. Yet, I can't come to a conclusion for everything. At this rate, I think I'm just killing my brain cells even faster. >.< *puffs up cheeks* Sometimes, I wish I've got the answers and response that I want... But, things aren't easy as they seem. Have you wondered how difficult it is to tell someone that you:

• wished he/she/they was/were with you
• missed him/her/them
• want to have lunch with him/her/them
• thought about him/her/them
• want him/her to call

I have. I did. And these wonders never stop. What triggered the wonders are probably the emo songs. heh. They keep going on and on. I have a feeling that I would have to tell my parents about my blog soon after I move to Seremban since they don't Facebook. =/ I'm still thinking if I should. I'll think about it after my exams. =.=ll *everything is after exams now*

I can't tell the difference.

I think it's scary when my mum tries new things and let me try them. Just this year, she got a new blender. She has been making fruit juice ever since... and it's awesome until one day...

Yeap, cucumber juice it WAS with sour plum. O.O

Today, mum came into my room with a cup of juice. It's green and yeah, I surely did thought that it'd be cucumber juice the moment I saw it but I knew there were not cucumbers at home. I gave it a try anyway and it turned out to be green apple with sour plum. :)

Haha... I tried putting pineapples in my ribena yesterday and I wondered it if it could substitute a lemon. The result: not really... the pineapples also taste about the same. Maybe, it wasn't long enough. :P

#31

At the rate that I'm studying, I'm not going to get far... I wonder how I can speed things up. Cutting down the blogging and facebooking time isn't going to save much, really...

I think it's the sleep. If I cut down on my sleep, I'd be able to cover much more but how effective would that be? I don't like getting stuck in dreams. Or dream about the same thing again... even more interesting is continuing a dream from the night before. I feel more tired after dreaming and I can't stop myself from it. >.< Yet, some dreams are just so nice that I wish I can stay a little longer. I wonder sometimes, if I'm the only one dreaming all the time, and worst, remembering them. =.=

"I Never Told You"

I have been listening to a lot of emo songs since my summatives were over. I managed to get hold of Colbie Caillat's albums, Tegan and Sara, Regina Spektor, Justin Bieber, Owl City, Ximena Sarinana and quite a few songs from Glee! Okay, among all that I've got, I think Colbie's songs from Breakthrough sound pretty good. From Glee, my ultimate favourite is True Colours. I've been listening to that since a few years back and it has been my favourite since. I love it even more now because it was sung by the Glee cast and I believe that their version is nicer. Another song which I can't stop listening to is:

I Never Told You
by Colbie Caillat

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see

Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dreamt about someone leaving me, about parachuting off the university building with a semi-dead guy in the elevator. I dreamt about the flood and how things were so chaotic. I guess that's what my mind is telling me. I'm a mess when it comes to feelings.

#30

I'm not liking the headache and tiredness. I'm not liking the muscle aches and pain.

With Summatives over and study break starting, this marks the beginning of the race. More or less in 14 days, I have to mug up 9 systems which is about 265 lectures. It sounds scary. It is scary. And, while I feel so tired to go on, I have no choice. I try not to be influenced by my friends who are pretty much doing well with their consistency in studying. I try not to think about the consequences if things turn out to be the other way. I make stupid mistakes and wrong decisions continuously. But with all those said, I think I'm just in denial and not wanting to face the fact that I am indeed afraid, partly worked up and actually do care. My heart says something which my brain denies.

Just a little earlier, I saw the academic calender for the next semester. Yeah, it sure did give me a little bit of pressure. While I am looking forward to new things and all, there are the 'what if's. Enough of taking breaks and chilling for me. I somehow need to find that passion and will... that confidence... to spread my wings to start flying if I want to Ace the paper with something better than borderline passing. ( i know it sounds lame...)

#29

tired. i. am.

not of studying but from studying. it has been awhile since i worked this hard. sem 4, back then was much more relaxing. exams are just 2 days away and i have 1 1/4 systems to cover. well, some of it would be covered for the first time. i guess i'll just read what i think is important. if it isn't and it comes out, then i guess, i would have to try to use some common sense. but then again, what comes out in exams are 40% from lectures and 60% a guessing game to me. well, new facts would be discovered much later.

i have been procrastinating much more than expected. *sigh* emo. again. yeah, i look calm. i sound calm. i tell some people to be calm. but i'm scared too. i just try brushing off all those studied thoughts of not doing well and the worst case scenario. if i remember, then i do. if i don't, then something better trigger the thought. i feel so "out" these days, in other words, unable to talk properly, write or think properly. imagine spelling 'orange' as 'orrange' or thinking that exophthalmus is the kyphosis of the eyes which is obviously not true. words are stuck in my head.

i'm not stressed. but maybe unconsciously, i am. the best remark i've gotten today was that i am very calm :) although i was unable to build rapport with the patient. that was in my mock exam. bleh. i do not wish that i started earlier in cramming. i still believe that there wouldn't be a lot of difference if i started way earlier although i did read bits and pieces of things. oh well, back to studying. >.<

(everything is in small letters. this means, i'm somewhat emo, tired, sleepy, stressed etc. :P )

#28

Probably, the last time when I was actually free was last weekend and seems like the week just went pass me. It has been a busy week for me. I've finally started studying seriously just 1 1/2 weeks before the exam. People ask me how is it that I'm so relaxed or how is it that I'm still able to watch Glee, House, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Supernatural, Ghost Whisperer or even movies. I know that some even wondered that with all that going on, how is that I was also able to finish reading a novel and study at the same time. Do I ever feel stressed?

Well, I did. But now, I guess I do but I say I don't because I do not exactly have the same feeling which I used to or maybe I am just in denial. Would I be able to finish studying everything I need to know? I hope so. While I believe I can, there is also the other part which is more inhibited saying that I might not be able to do so. In the end, I'm just going to do what I can.

Hooked to Glee

I just started watching Glee. I have been wanting to watch them for awhile, but I just didn't know who to get from. In the end, my brother passed 16 episodes to me. :) And although there are a few songs that I don't really like, overall, I am...
mmhmm, strange, how people would say that a picture is worth a thousand words. I feel like mine can make only a sentence. But yeah, it is something new. It is something that I enjoy watching. I know a few of my friends totally love this series and I'm just one of those people who have late interest, at the back of the flow. Still, better late than never as some would phrase it. :)

IMS Presentation

Well, IMS is finally over and it is a relief. I only realised that in the end, no one was timing us. I spoke faster than usual as I've been practising to keep to the time limit. The 2 minute-Q & A session per subgroup becamse a 5 minute-Q&A session for all 5 groups. So, I did not have to prepare that much. But, extra knowledge is never a waste.

I was not able to focus on what the other people were presenting as I was nervous myself and as it was nearer to my time to present...

... my heart was beating so fast that I could feel the pulsation of my carotid artery without using my fingers.

I was nervous. I didn't know why but I somehow knew that I had to get over it. So, I walked to the other side of the room.

Well, I thought it was fine because it was sort of like a form of interaction for me with the people in the front rows but according to others, it seemed as if I was dancing in front as I presented because I walked funny. >.< Yeah, well, that's IMS for me. If there's anything which I'm going to remember, it's this. Enough about this, it's time to focus on the exams which is in 2 weeks and I'm not even close to finishing the lecture notes which I need to for it. The study of the nervous system makes me nervous for exams. :P

No Matter What Happens

One semester ago, I saw my seniors getting worked up over IMS. Then, it was my turn. Tomorrow is finally the day. It has been a journey. I've learnt more about me and also about people. I don't know how things are going to be like tomorrow but I do know that I've given my best and if anything happens during the Q&A session which I fear most, so be it. I am leaving everything up to Him. :)


Conquer every challenge though some days may be rainy and not turn out the way you wanted it to be. Even when it is a bright day filled with inspirations, charge forth and conquer your enemy. It can be related to your studies or anything which you find relevant and to me, it's the few more weeks left towards exams. It is the marathon which requires a lot of mental stamina as my friend said.

It means a lot to me especially having friends (andafish ^^) to support and give advice along the way. To you who have been listening to me getting all worked up and complaining about the many random things, yet say nothing, well, thanks (creature). :)

Public speaking is not my thing. I can talk a lot to one person but not to a whole group of people. So wish me luck. hehe. Ooh, and I am not stressed. To my batchmates, all the best tomorrow!

In front of the TV

Fell asleep on the couch yesterday evening.
When I got up, I turned on the television. Yeap, the news was about to end. It was at 9-ish. Watched the channel for awhile. (my feet are maroon, not brown?)

..15 minutes later..

Situations like this rarely occurs. I am alright with weird supernatural creatures like zombies, vampires etc but not pontianak. >.<

My hair was standing; my heart stopped beating for the 2 seconds. My reflex was too slow to change to the next channel. I ended up covering my eyes and think of happy thoughts such as teddy bears. ^^ I know I sound retarded in a way but maybe next time, I will have a faster reflex.

Cartoons or drawings of small seemingly harmless ghosts are okay with me though but not a human being playing a role. Did I mention the awful screeching laugh? Bleh... I couldn't get a good sleep last night.

I ended up going to uni late again.

CSU Practices These Days

It's nearly the middle of the week. Time is passing by really fast each day and I think that I'm only feeling so because I don't do much during the day and sleep a lot more. I've been practising clinical skills since a few weeks back. Through out this week, my friends who are simulated patients for me are one their holiday. Hence, I ended up practicing on the pillow and imagining that it's a real person. It is challenging because pillows do not have any limbs! Ooh, and pillows do not talk to me.

Examination of the Cardiovascular System

Note: No, I do not actually say that.

But, ain't it interesting if you can find out how a person's heart just in 5 minutes? :P I'm nice to the pillow. I'm sure the pillow likes me. (not like creature who afflicts pain on the pillow >.<) But, I do enjoy the practice because it can be just soooo hilarious.

My Head Is Just Fine

Here's how the situation has been for me. I feel stressed out because of the many things I need to remember but I don't seem to be able to do so. The problem is not in understanding. It is in recalling what I've read. I also feel stressed out because of the many things I need to juggle. Time management is important.
Sometimes, I wish I had a USB port so that I could plug in an external hard drive into my head. Sometimes, I wish I ha a bigger head to fit a bigger brain so that I could fit in all the information without losing any.There is a medical condition known as hydrocephalus of which the individual presents with a bigger head but I do not want my head to be filled with water. *sigh*

It is something that many students will experience especially when exams are near. At some point, I'd think that if I fall, I would be able to get up and start all over again or the saying that if you think you can't hang on any longer, just make sure you tie a double knot to the rope that you're hanging on to and never let go.

But if I do have a big head... then I think it's easier to lose balance (unsteady gait) and fall. :P And... it's much tougher to get back into the game since it's more difficult to get up. So, I guess, I'm happy with the one I have now. It just needs a bit of upgrading so that it works faster.

Scientifically speaking, I am not utilizing the whole brain as I study, multitask etc. Humans only use a small percentage of their brain power. So how then can you and I maximize the brain function? I don't know and I'm still trying to figure that out.

As you probably would have guessed, I've been busy and have little time to chill. To those of you who chill a lot, well, carry on then.. but don't catch a cold. :) Lately, I've been told that I'm lame. Well, I'm a late bloomer. hehe. It is after all 5am and I'm nearly done with IMS.

IMS - Just another assessment?

IMS stands for Intergrated Medical Seminar. Doesn't it sound like something big? IMS is a group work. It could be beneficial if everyone does the work or takes it seriously. It could be a loss if some people starts taking advantage over others. It takes a lot of patience, teamwork and communication. It requires enthusiasm and being an active team player. Most importantly, there shouldn't be a room for slacking because it involves other people's grades too.

I feel misunderstood and brushed aside sometimes for reasons which are not important to them but important to me. I am sometimes obsessed over details. But, I know that it's good because that's what the lecturers are looking for and looking at. Details and professionalism.

Scene 1

Yeah, it definitely stresses me out sometimes. It takes up my time (even blogging does) but I am not complaining about that. Some of my friends know what I'm complaining about already. I feel that the worst part is that despite all these thoughts I have in my head, I can't write it out freely although it is my blog because my friends do read it. Next thing I know, I might just get some text message saying "Why did you have to write about me in your blog?" although no names are mentioned. Well, that is one of the disadvantages of blogging and I guess bloggers would either learn to handle it or avoid stirring up trouble.

So, you're probably wondering what it is all about...

Scene 2

While many people take it lightly because it contributes "just" a small percentage and it would not exactly make a lot of difference, I take a it a little bit more seriously. Since I am not above average in my batch, every percentage matters to me. I suppose it is just who I am. I think one of the responses which I should have included was "Cheh, just 3% only..."

If this was done in Semester 1, there would be more students with higher levels of enthusiasm and also more panic-ky ones. Back then, a short essay of 1% was important. Soon, things change and it's the other way round now. Some of my friends don't really care. Some say that it is too near to exams and it is taking up a lot of their studying time. Some say that it's not worth doing since it carries a lot percentage. But if it carries more percentage, I'm sure there would be a number of complains but at the same time, I suppose, students would be more serious about it.

I suppose for someone like me, it's not just another assessment. It is challenging in many ways that may or may not be assessed.