Sunday, March 29, 2009

Busy Busy

I'm back. I disappeared for awhile, I know. I had a family emergency to attend to. It something I'll probably write about later, but now, it's not the time.

I've been busy. Really busy. Now that I'm back, I've got so many things piling up. PBL, CSU stuff, MMS (because MMS on Tuesday is compulsory), lectures which I've missed. So, that is why I'm busy. On top of that, I had my third car accident last Wednesday. The damage to my car was not that bad compared to the other lady's car which was way way way way worse.

Mock OSCE is on Wednesday and I think I'm mentally prepared. If I get screwed by one of the lecturers, then, so be it.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

For now...

I won't be in KL for awhile. I will be going back to my hometown after I type this post. I will further elaborate when I come back on Sunday.

For now, I have nothing to say. I'm like a stone which shows no emotions nor expressions.
For now, I can say that I'm still broken but I will be okay.
For now, I might be missing out on a lot of things but I will catch up somehow.
For now, I will be strong for my family especially my mum.
For now, I am glad that I have you guys to support me emotionally and mentally.

I'm truly sorry for causing trouble and handling my responsibilities to you guys because I will be absent for awhile. I'm running out of credit and I don't have internet back home. I need to do something about that.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Of stressful PBL and CSU

I know that I haven't been updating for quite some time already. There are so many factors contributing to this lack of enthusiasm in updating such as stress, PBL, CSU and hormones. Yeap, hormones alright.

I've reading Jene's blog and I always wonder how she found the time to update it but here I am, trying to allocate time to write something and hoping that I won't save it as a draft. If you want to know what's been going on, I'll start with PBL.

For PBL, my faci told us that he want to see everyone of us present everything to see our level of understanding. We can only use books to search for information. This is to standardize our information. Can you imagine it? NO INTERNET. He gave us no learning issues because we are supposed to come up with it individually. So, Ben and I were in the library earlier, looking for information. We were using a few books. And you read right alright, Ben was at the library :P. It is a good thing.

As for CSU... Last week's CSU was horrible because my group was blasted by one of the lecturers who I shall not name. After completing the examination of the lymph nodes, we were supposed to revise the other systems with our lecturer but my lecturer gave us a Mock OSCE on the spot of which most of us were lost. We don't remember a lot of things. The last thing she said was, 'Make my day. Tell me what a bruit is and make my day. If none of you can tell me what a bruit is, then I'm going to leave for my lunch.' In the end, she left early. This week's CSU on the other hand is History Taking but OSCE format.

It means we enter 1 station for 5 minutes and take the history of the simulated patient. For this session, we were paired up but for the real thing, we're all flying solo. I partnered Joo Hor this time. Since there were 4 simulated patients, 4 rest stations and 4 Q &A stations, I started first and took alternate turns with Joo Hor. I was so nervous that I exceeded the time. When the buzzer went of, I was yet to cover 2 more components. Next thing I knew,

SP: I'm depressed because my dad has been working to pay for my medical treatment. I haven't been sleeping well. My pass motion hasn't been good either and I don't get to cycle nor run. Ask me about my period.

Me: Err, how's your period?

SP: I haven't got my period yet. My mum thinks I'm too weak. Oh, I have been to the hospital before and I undergo blood transfusion. I'm getting all these symptoms because I didn't go for my blood transfusion which was supposed to be 2-3 months ago. Write down... Have you gotten it?

Me: Err, yeah. *giggling* *panicking* Thanks for the information.

SP: Okay.. okay.. Don't worry. The other group was like that also. I understand.

So, practically, she gave us all the information that we need but when it came to answering the questions, Joo Hor and I misinterpreted a couple of things. I remember when I walked in and there was an Indian aunty sitting comfortably. When I asked for her name, she told me, 'My name is Tan Yen Yen.' I stoned for awhile. Yes, I did. However, it was my second time practising and there were only 2 components that I needed to touch on. So, I did much better. Joo Hor and I passed with 26 1/2 marks out of 40 marks. Lol, nope, it's not assessed. It's just for us to get the feel of it.

After PBL tomorrow, I'll find the time to post up some pictures and hopefully write more. I'm too lazy to write nowadays. I come home around 10pm because I've recently started camping in the library. But because of that also, I find myself dozing off during lectures. I don't know. It is a stressful period.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Cupcakes! Which one's mine?

Chia Sin bought cupcakes! She bought 6 and it was distributed among Jeremy, Jae Ric, herself, Paige, me and Benedict. The cupcakes were sold by the Crusaidsers to raise funds. The cupcakes were cute and pretty but also pricey, to me...

These two were in a box. Chia Sin told me that one is for me and the other for Ben. Because I'm an indecisive person, I asked him to choose first but he refused to do so! So, it was in the box until the lecture on History Taking was over. Throughout that period of time, I was listing down the pros and cons. ^^

Can you see it? It's either a small heart that's filled (with joy, kindness etc) or a big heart but it's not filled. The smaller heart looks prettier, more unique and more 'solid' whereas the bigger heart looks more bimbotic, creamy etc. Since I couldn't decide, Chia Sin suggested that I move the small heart to the middle of the big heart and hence, I've got two hearts but I told her that I'm not heartless to give Benedict no heart.

Also, I argued that Ben NEEDS a heart :P and Chia Sin pointed out that it's true because he's heartless. hehe. But we all know how nice he is. :) Paige wrote there to simply pick one because both tastes yummy and it'll end up in our stomach. So, I just chose one and gave Ben the other. But, which one did I choose?

Monday, March 16, 2009

This is something

I was walking down the stairs, coming from the auditorium when one of my batchmates ran towards me, gasping for air and told me, 'It's out! It's out!' I was puzzled and asked her, 'What is?' She told me, 'The summative results. They're out already. They were just released. Quickly, go check and tell the others.' Then, she ran towards the elab.

I walked to elab 2. I randomly chose a seat and logged into my account. Little did I know, the internet was not working. I could not check my email for the results of whether I passed or fail. So, I had no choice but to go to AAD (Academic Affairs Department). AAD gave me a letter and I opened it with my trembling hands.

'You have scored really low as compared to your previous records. Please go to the Dean's office as she would like to have a talk with you.'

As I head to the Dean's office, I wondered... 'What's wrong? Did I fail this time? What's going to happen? Will I be kicked out? Perhaps, I was never fit to become a doctor.' When I reached the Dean's office, her secretary told me, 'She has been waiting for you.' I knocked slowly and gently on the door before I entered. It was like a classic scene from the movies where the principle's chair was facing me and her red office chair slowly turns. Resting both her elbows on the arm rest and putting her palms together, she told me, 'You did not do so well for Summative. You answered only 49 questions out of 50 where you skipped one and shaded the others incorrectly for OBA (One Best Answer).'

'But...', I said, 'It's not possible because I've double checked the paper before submitting it. I'm very sure of that.' Then, she said, 'Give me your name and I'll check the system to show it to you.' She typed in ESTHER in the computer and the computer saw many different Esthers from different semesters. Next thing I knew, she told me... 'I'm sorry. We must have gotten you mixed up with Esther Yap from Semester 4. You may leave now.'

I don't even know if there is such person. Because... it was all a dream.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Post-Summatives

I'm like the middle button of my iPod... depressed.

Honestly, Summatives did not go as well as I thought would be. So, don't ask me how it is because I'm thinking about the fact if I can pass. I've remarks such as 'If you fail, then it is the day when IMU will burn down.' But, anything can happen... Sure, I may not look like the type who is predisposed to a higher risk of failing but prognosis IS poor this time. But since it will be 2 weeks before getting our results, I've decided that I'll patch things up with the coming Summative. I hope that somehow, I get a minimum of what I need.

Thanks Jene for the call the other day... It really made me feel better. I was helping my mum with the laundry when it dawned upon me about the fact that if I make mistakes now, I should be grateful because now is the only time when I can AFFORD to make mistakes. I'm just hoping it won't cost me so much damage that it would affect my EOS *touchwood touchwood*. That's only because I know that in future, at least, I wouldn't kill someone because it has cost me 10 marks. So, I'll do my best for the coming one. I also thought through the fact that even if I'm given one extra week to study for it, I would probably make the same mistakes. It was how I understood things and now, I've got to fix things.

TJ and Benedict have been great support in helping me get things off my mind. One talked through things with me of how EOS carries 70% and Summs carries only 12.5% each. The other talked me into watching Sonic the Hedgehog on Youtube... even before the exams! But, it's nice. Today, I even went out with 10 people to watch the movie 'Watchman' which isn't exactly my type of movie. I want to watch 'Marley and Me.' It was quite random and last minute of me joining them.

I'm just going to post up a few more pictures from Orientation.

Me, Chia Sin and Nirmal... in Dry Icebreakers
Elvyna, Me, Mei Xin, Lilian and Amanda. All preparing for Finale Night. It was warm. So, the five of us stood in front of the stand fan ^^
During cheer performance for 'The Best Damn Thing'. The beginning was a little messy. So was the beginning for this dance because someone played the music without waiting for the cue. At least, it's not the competition. So, we were pretty relaxed. I was just worried that we couldn't finish learning the new routine in time.
Lilian, Me, Benedict and Zaeem. I finished my second performance then. ^^ Wei Chin, Ying Xin and Mei Xin did a good job. So, they covered up my flaws. Ballet with Mei Xin was an experience because we finalised the choreography on that day itself and practiced it less than 5 times. So, I guess it was okay. Mei Xin rocks!

Ohh, Wei Chin and Ying Xin's dance for 'When I Grow Up' was awesome too! But, I wish we could have worn just sport shoes because dancing in heels isn't exactly nice. It's much more difficult to slide, balance and move around. Really......... Anyway, you see Elvis up there? Well, Ben had to dress up like one because he's one of the committee members.

Me and Jun How. We had fun dancing that night, making the train of people after 2 attempts. Haha.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

emo #2

have been listening to more emo songs. have been fearing for what is to come. have been trying a little harder but it does not seem to help. don't know what to do but tying the knot twice so that I don't slip. was studying in the library yesterday and I thought about the times when we used to study together, the times when we'd have dinner together, the times when you'd ask questions to make sure that I know what's important... and sometimes, you'd tell me jokes, ask me personality questions or just emo with me at the atrium to destress. I miss all of that. I miss your presence too. and it's not just yesterday that I find it difficult to step into the library. I wish you'd be here sometimes.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Promises.

emo.

I made the promise to study hard when Sem 3 starts. I made a promise to not play around in Sem 3. I made more than just two promises. And these promises which I made... I kept them only for 2 weeks. :( I need to make a promise that I'll stick to my promises until the end next time.

Everyone will say that they're screwed in studies. Even I would say I am because that's what we all believe. But, after the exams, those who said that they're screwed will do well or at least better than average. I hope I would too but I wouldn't know. People tell me that I'll be fine but that's what everyone tell one another. 'You'll be fine' so that you won't give up, so that you will keep on working hard, so that you'll have no regrets at the end of the day. Even so, after the exams, some people would say 'I screwed it' while some would say 'I did pretty okay...' when they get a B.

I'm not even halfway my CVS or Respi. I haven't done AIR. So, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you.

emo. still emo.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

MEDT 109 Orientation (Part 4)

Yesterday was Variety Night. I did not stay with the group until the end because I had no transport to go home. I only managed to watch the IMSS performance for my group.

This post is for my group... Group 6.

Dear Deep 6 members,

I would remember the first day I met all of you. I tried to remember your names on the spot and I was not even sure about the first impression that I would like to give. I remember the 4 musketeers introducing themselves- Shing, Tay, Tom, Boh. I remember how the girls sat at the back while most of the guys were at the table. And with so many discussions going on, we changed our group name from Sixtreme to Deep Six. I remember how no one volunteered to be the group leader and I chose Jia Wei ^^ who had done a good job.

I know how you guys wanted to get things over and done with. Tonight, you guys finally did it. Sure, we did not do so well in terms of marks, but I think you guys still did a FANTASTIC job because... everyone's a winner. You guys came up with your own skits, your own props and everything else by yourselves. If you ever feel like you've let the team down, then, let the thought pass because you did the best you could then and that's what matters.

Being with you guys, I learnt a lot too like being independant, taking responsibilities in areas which I've never considered before and you guys made me someone who would want to care more. With you guys, yes, I was worried sometimes if Orientation is going well. I was worried that some of you might not like us OOs for butting too much or too little. Most of all, I was worried that you might not be able to foster bonds with one another. I hope that the friendship you make will continue to grow and probably find your bestest best friends in there.

I'm always delighted when I get a message from any of you all asking me if I could bring you guys for Signature Hunt or messages telling me that you're working on the skits at Thariq's place. All these little updates, I'm glad that you've always notify me. =) I'm also glad that you are all open minded when accepting tasks given by my batchmates just to get their signatures- sticking to the Cafeteria window, dancing, singing, posing in all weird ways... Did I mention that I think that your cheers are wonderful too? The long one especially and I totally love it when you do it in the chipmunk and fast version. hehe.

We should have lunch together one day. I don't know what it is about you guys that when I'm with all of you, I'm always just smiling. I feel touched everytime I see all of you together. Maybe this was the feeling which my previous OOs might have had before and I'm also sad that orientation has ended because I won't be doing crazy things with all of you. Okay, you guys do the crazy things, I do the motivating. hehe. But then again, we're friends now. :D

I'm sorry for being pushy sometimes when you're out taking signature hunts like how you're about to go for lunch or when you're feeling too tired... I would still be fitting at least one or more signatures for the day. I'm also sorry that I wasn't able to watch your performances. No matter how others may comment on it, I would still think that it's good. It may not be the best, but it's still good. :)

I hope that someday, you would take part in orientation as well by becoming OOs. I find that being an OO is more rewarding than an SM although I've never been an SM because an OO is always with the group while an SM meets the group for just a day. I also hope that when it is your turn to orientate the new batch, you would also take the initiative to be part of the orientation committee. Most of all, I hope that the friendship between us will be as how it is now or better. Do ask me questions if you're not sure about anything and I will try my best to help you out. =)

Your OO,
Esther

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Sick of Medicine

I hate medicine. No, it's not the course that I'm studying but the medicine which I was prescribed. I hate panadols. But, I do not mind the small ones.
As you can see, the middle white one (the largest of them all!!!) is my antibiotic which I need to continue taking for the next 3 days. Then, on the left, there's the small yellow round ones which I don't know what it's for. The ones in yellow and white capsule is for my flu. Above the antibiotics is the panadol which was for my fever and sore throat. I no longer need to take it ^^ YAY! Then, the one on the right, well, I have no idea what that is for either.

Many people in IMU fell sick but at the same time, many people in IMU are recovering. So, this period of time will pass soon and hopefully the many juniors who fell sick during orientation would get better soon as well because it is horrible having to start serious lectures feeling lethargic especially when lectures are at 8am. Orientation is coming to an end soon, hang in there!

MEDT 109 Orientation (Part 3)

Treasure Hunt! Okay, I didn't go for the Indoor Treasure Hunt because I had something to do that night. They watched the movie 'Quarantined' and then, the spies revealed themselves that night. So much for me getting the chance to burst Jene's bubble but I did disturb Han Hong ^^. His group members even asked 'Why is it that he always gets picked on?'

Anyway, we took pictures for most of the stations but not all I think because we were pretty tired by the time we nearly finished.

It was a good day with a nice weather.

The first station we were at was Station 6 which required them to pass food with their feet and someone would bring the food to the front of the line, squish it in the cup and someone has to drink/eat it. Lucky for them, the fruits have skin, an orange and a banana. Since 3 eggs cracked, they didn't have to mix it in but the other group had to because their eggs did not crack.

All getting ready in the line. The guy in yellow is Si Han, OO.
Passing the banana I think.
Jia Wei squishing the banana.
Thariq eating up everything.

I had anti-peristalsis watching. It just reminded me of how my group had to eat noodles + oranges + coffee + sugar + salt + ketchup.

We went to the next station. They had to line up and throw water balloons, catch it with their shirts and make sure that it doesn't drop or else, they would have to start again. After they finished passing one water balloon, they had to draw the kidneys, heart, humerus, tibia, fibula, parotid gland, submandibular gland, scapula etc.

Thariq and Eu Jin... feeling enthu.
Tommy, the model to be painted.
Cheong and Thariq all painted before the game.
Boh and Eu Jin also painted beforehand ^^
Jia Wei throwing the water balloon to Cheong.
Tay (IMSS) painting the model. See the scapula? lolz.
At the end of it all... it was picture time! They had fun.

We headed to the next station. They were still enthu and still had a lot of energy.
Got style... hehe...

We reached Jing Guo's station. The task: Two people have to carry someone across a distance and that person has to dip his/her hand in a bucket of goo which looks like blood and pick up a coin. Then, they have to duck walk back. The aim is to collect RM 6.75. My group did not reach that amount. Neither did the other. Even so, we lost to the other group by 5 cents. It was a close fight.

Cheong and Zi Qin carrying Syahirah.
Syahirah taking out a coin.
Jia Wei and Tay duck walking and behind them was Eu Jin.

The following station, Station 2- Pick 2 girls and make them look like a geisha using flour and paint.
As you can see, the two geishas. (OMG, I don't remember their names. =.=)
Si Han, Wei Ric and I taking the chance to camwhore using Thariq's phone ^^
Stephanie... telling me 'I'm scared... to go to the next station.' hehe.

What do you know? The next station was the macha gang station. Station 3.

They're all waiting.... O.O
There is tension in the atmosphere and change in facial expressions. It's more boot camp style and Jia Wei told me that he enjoyed it because it reminded him of NS in Singapore.
Jia Wei called out.
The group had to run 5 rounds with Wei Ric leading them.
While the girls had to put butter on their arms, face and hair...
the guys had to sing the National Anthem,
wash their hair in a 'safe mixture', dip their clothes in that safe mixture, crach eggs on their head while the IMSS had a special ingredient of light soy sauce. There's more pictures than just this.
The girls (yeap, only 4) were called out to play a simple game for throwing eggs to the person opposite them for 10 times. After that, it was just a friendly chat with one of the SMs. He was a nice person.
Because Vinodhan managed to steal our flag, the group had to cheer their way through to get it back. So, for punishment, it wasn't so bad for the group. The IMSS and group leader had it worse but it can still be tolerated.

After this station, everyone was exhausted including me. What did I do? I cheered for them so that they could finish the task faster. =) No pictures were taken in the next 2 stations. So, that's all for Treasure Hunt.

MEDT 109 Orientation (Part 2)

This is my group! Deep 6.

During the first week, I accompanied them in Signature Hunt. To get Sandip's signature, we had to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep in Dikir Barat style including actions while bending our knees halfway in a circle, sort of like sitting on one another. It was not that bad considering we were the first group to get Sandip's signature because the groups after us had to dance etc.

We ran into a zombie which gave us a task to do which is to find a person with a nickname Coffee. Lucky for me, I've got resources and we found him in a short period of time. He asked us to dance which was also a simple task. ^^ To get Zia's signature, the group had to sing and dance as well. As for Benedict's signature, the group had to sing 'Season in the Sun'. The guys had to sing in Chinese accent while the girls had to sing it in Indian accent. Some signatures required them to do their cheers in Indian accent, bimbotic accent etc. So, it was all quite simple really... All except Thamarai's. Her task is (to me) the coolest one and one which I think showed how well the group stick with each other through thick and thin.

She asked the guys to do a catwalk and pose while I insisted that they wait for me to take pictures. I believe in years to come, they'll look back and will think about all the fun they had especially when they're going to sit for their exams.

So, the first 2 to pose were Boh (left) and Tay (right). Shy shy a bit larr. hehe. BUT...

Jia Wei (left), the group leader and Cheong (right) weren't that shy. Haha, so cute!
Last but not least, Anson (left) and Tom (right). It's like a natural thing for Anson :D hehe and Tom's funny. ^^

We were all entertained. Thamarai, Sandip and I were having a good time.

Getting better!! ^^

Hopefully, I'd be well enough to dance on Saturday.

Despite taking panadol, my fever kept coming back and today's the day when I can no longer stand it. My brother gave me 5 different medicines and there's this one which is huge! T.T and I hate pills. I know I'm a very grumpy person especially when I'm not feeling well. I can't stand the environment if it's cold. I can't tolerate loud noise either like shouting, screaming etc. I can't stand it either if someone comes and bug me. I just find it an inconsiderate thing to do. I don't know about you but that's what I think and it's something I take into account if a friend of mine is sick.

The next thing you know is that I'd probably be cursing or something. I remember the time when I was in the hospital and I had a nice roommate for the first 5 days. After she was discharged, my new roommate was so freaking noisy. She couldn't stop talking 24/7, even at night! By then, I couldn't wait to get discharged. I told the nurse then to ask her to quiet down.

Anyway, I know I've been a pain to some people. But, at the same time, I'm grateful for the patience and concern. Thanks for lending me the jacket, calling me at night and keeping me entertained, and the hugs. Yeap, I love Zia's hugs! ^^

Summative's quite near already and I've no idea how I'm going to finish studying but hopefully after this period of time, I can finish things in time. Batchmates, I hope we can pass with flying colours!

Monday, March 02, 2009

CSU... ^^

Sorry guys, but I don't think I'll be updating about orientation for a while because I've no pictures but all I can say is that I love my group!

Well, after Treasure Hunt last Saturday, I'm sick already... along with half of the group members. :S So, with different symptoms appearing everyday, today's flu and dry cough kept me from many things. I feel so bad to be blowing my nose in audi or sneezing because I think I make too much noise unless I sleep. zzz. I couldn't decide on whether I should skip lab session or CSU and because I'm so indecisive, I ended up going for both.

Today's CSU was History Taking for the Respi System and it did not seem to be a productive one for me because I kept on coughing and my nose which was like a leaking pipe made it difficult for me to focus. There would be some times when both my nostrils are blocked and I have no choice but to breath through my mouth.

When interviewing the second patient, Arthur had to take Family History and I was the last one left who had not done History Taking. So what happened was... *I don't remember the exact script but the idea's there*

Dr: You don't look so well. Would you like to continue with Social History or would it be okay if your friend continued and finish off the small section?

Me: Ohh.. *guilty* I think it's okay if he (referring to Arthur) finishes the small portion.

So, I escaped feeling guilty with valid reasons. ^^ Gomenasai Arthur-san. Honto ni. =) Other than that, I guess most of us were lost during PBL because our faci wanted something that isn't textbook based in sequence and in type of question. There was a time when a few of us would be hinting on what to ask next by pointing to our elbow, lip-synching something etc. Before going in, I told Lilian, "I wish that we would be the first to end. I really do..." But, after it all ended, she told me, "I think we're the last to finish." I'm glad it's the last CSU for the system.

There's just so much to study. I really do hope that I can recover soon enough to cram everything into my tiny brain.