Monday, March 31, 2008

Today was okay...

Today's dance practice was okay. We made improvements and I guess everything is good, for now. Another week left until the competition. I hope that we would be able to pull it off, at least good showmanship.

Thanks to me, all the girls have blue blacks on their knees. I guess after tomorrow, the guys too, will experience the same thing as us. Breakdancing is NOT easy and it requires a lot of strength to move on from one level to another.

I woke up at 4am this morning and did some light reading. Before driving to uni, I passed a black cat that stared at me all the way when I walked towards my car. It was just creepy and I am superstitious. I had a weird dream yesterday, a really personal one but I guess I couldn't help but ponder about what I'd do about it.

What can you do if you can't do anything to help your friend who feels like there's no hope in this world. If your friend has suicide thoughts (though very unlikely in reality), what can you do? Seriously, I don't think I can live with this sort of dilemma. Losing a friend means a lot to me but really, waking up thinking that you still don't know what to do is very disturbing.

Maybe it is all the stress from so many things. So many things to do and I can barely cope. I wonder how the Dentistry students can even cope with their stuff. On top of having to attend the lectures that the med. students attend, they have their very own lectures too on head and neck anatomy which sounds pretty scary to me right now.

Nevertheless, there comes a time when I will be facing this too.

I just want to stand in the balcony and look at the view the whole night. It would be nice if I have someone with me to enjoy the view. It would be even better if I could spend every night doing the same thing. A stress-free life has gone down the drain... But, knowing that I'd spent my entire 2 1/2 years with Lydia, Arthur, Reza and some other people makes me worry less. At least I know who I can turn to for a talk. =)

Oh well, I have to get back to studying now... *gulp*

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Banjir Cinta Yang Sepi

I was reading back the posts in my old blog and I found this. It was something that I wrote during the holidays last year. Now that I am reading it back, it makes me want to laugh. I had nooo idea how I came up with it.

Before you continue reading, let me tell you that the expressions are not real. They are just a figure of speech to make it sound nicer. My Malay is not that good since I haven’t speaking Malay for quite some time now. There may not be coherence in what I’m writing. So, say what you want to say. Laugh if you want to laugh. Here goes nothing…

Banjir Cinta Yang Sepi

Malam berlalu…
Yang membanjiri mindaku;
Adalah memori cinta…
Cinta yang sedih;
Cinta yang pedih;
Cinta yang ku nanti;
Cinta yang tiada kembali.

Tidak mu rasa;
Tidak ku paksa;
Tidak ku benci;
Tidak ku cari.

Bak dicuri, bak diketepi…

Nantian yang tiada akhirnya;
Kepahitan yang tiada perginya;
Terukir di sudut hatiku;
Perasaan yang tiada pun tahu
tapi aku…

Tidak ku sesal;
Tidak ku kesal;
Hanya ku kenang;
Banjir cinta yang sepi…

Saturday, March 29, 2008


Arthur, Lydia, Lilian and Jonathan came over to my place today. It was fun having them around.
Arthur and Lydia are good pianists. Arthur plays like a pro. The first time I heard him play, I was amazed. I know they are good but didn't know that they were thaaaaaaaat good. The feeling is different when you listen from a downloaded music file compared to an actual person playing that well. It's just AWESOME.

Apart from the studying, they went swimming and I watched. Yes, I did. Don't ask me why.

Tomorrow is an off day to study and relax and sleep.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

So random...

I had dance practice today. Damn, I still have a hard time remembering the steps. It's not so bad after all. I hope that it won't be messy after we do the whole thing. As for the dance itself, well, I'm trying to keep up. My partner for part of the dance is Benedict--> Barney! He is sooo cool in dancing. Everything is so random. Suddenly, he'll do a freeze because he got stuck in the position. As we practice more often, we are able to built better friendship.

I fell on my shoulder again after attempting to do a baby freeze in a cheating position. ;) Arthur fell too, on his back after attempting a flip. So, after the dance, 3 people decided to go for a swim: Arthur, Lydia and Leon. Leon is very funny. His breakdancing skills are admirable. While Arthur was showing off his abs, Leon tried too, only it was just fats there.

Looks like Leon and I are in the same boat! :D We have adipose tissue. I will post up the pictures next time.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


I'm feeling happy.

Maybe it is because of the dance competition.

Dancing makes me happy. Learning new dances makes me happy.

I know I may sound crazy now and weird, but yess...

I was learning the basics of breakdancing in my room. The 4,5,6 and 7 steps and the baby freeze. I actually managed to do the baby freeze for about 5 seconds the first time and I was ecstatic. When I tried again, it worked but not so long after that. Maybe it is because I was using my wrist too much that I couldn't hold my weight. And, I am getting more blue blacks on my shoulder and knees which I think is okay because it is better than ending with a sprain or even worse... *touchwood touchwood*

But other than that, I'm loving it.

It's nice to have Benedict, Leon and Arthur in the team. Three breakdancers; the three musketeers. Benedict--> Barney is funny and is a good dancer + cheerleader. Leon, well, I met him during the charity home visit and got to know from then that he too, breakdances. Arthur, ahh... Ze Chocobun Bunny... gives a LOT of ideas. Some funny ones and some good ones too.

There's Jien who is the team manager and his girlfriend, Nicole who is a hip hop dancer + choreographer. Nicole's friend, Alvina who is the treasurer for ME1/08 is also a hip hop dancer. Both of them are really good. Since we have no place to practice, we crashed Jien + Nicoles' place.

From Bombshe11, there's Lydia and I. Well, I was playing most of the time and wasn't that serious in choreographing but I'm trying. :P Lydia is off with a good start in choreographing too! There is one more girl, Sze Yin but she didn't come today.

Breakdancing... It isn't as complicated as I thought it would be after all... I guess I will be picking up this dance and perhaps a sport or something else. I was thinking of basketball but I think volleyball is better.

Okay then, I should be off to studying now. There are so many things that I missed.

Saturday, March 22, 2008


I'm feeling tired right now. Really exhausted.

The charity home visit was okay. I had a 14-year-old kid who can already take care of himself. Well, I did not get cute, small and adorable kids that I wanted. But then again, I did not have a tough job to do today.

Moving the tables was an interesting thing. There wasn't enough manpower to move all the tables. Those tables are heavy... Maybe on the first day I did not feel that it's heavy at all but on the second day after my shoulder ached, I felt that it was a little heavier than I thought. I ended up with black and blue on my shoulder. LOL. It's going to take days to heal. Still, LOL...

I'm feeling hungry now. Therefore, I shall go snack on Oreos with milk! or chocolate chip muffin which reminds me... During the slave auction, Arthur bought this packet of chocochip cookies. It was really really really good.

Oh, I finally have Reza on my side to call Arthur by a nickname- Chocoban! He even came up with a song for Arthur which is so totally cute and funny. Reza is also in my batch and he's a really cool person. Not to mention that he is a Pakistani mixed but Malaysian. Oh, he's got really good command in English too. I actually met him during my interview and again after orientation.

In fact, orientation was a good thing because I managed to make a lot of new friends and some really close ones.

Concerns... over so many things...

This week has been a fairly tiring one. Lectures have officially started and may I say that it is NOT EASY to catch up with what the lecturer is trying to say. In the end, I study like mad as how my friends would put it. After class, study. Go back home, study. Why? Well, something that took me a week to memorize only took my friends a day (or a couple of days) to remember.

There definitely is pressure but perhaps a different type compared to when we were in college or secondary. I guess my study habits have changed. Before this, I would come home and study until late night, around 1am or 2am. Because I always feel so exhausted, I decided to wake up early instead. On nights when I am really tired, I would wake up at 4am. Otherwise, I'd wake up at 3 am. You might think I'm mad but it's not like I have a choice either.

Nightmares are coming back to me again. Can you imagine sleeping and dreaming about various ways of how you can die. *touchwood touchwood* It could be when the heart stops functioning or even when in your dreams, you hear people telling you to study and not have FUN. It is not a good feeling especially after finding out that you don't have a normal heart sound. As vague as it may sound, I feel tired too from all the studying but I'm just pushing myself to the limit. I feel like I haven't done enough in playing my role. I have not overdone it yet but I am concern about my eating habits lately.

Despite the fact that I am glad that I've lost 5 kg since Uni started, I am worried that being unable to eat healthily will give an effect. It has been for 2 weeks now that I'm having one meal a day. I can't eat more because if I do, I feel like vomiting out the food I've consumed which is a sucky feeling. I would end up starving myself in the end and still not feel hungry about it. I haven't been feeling so well lately. The feeling of being uneasy and fatigue is not a good combination. Even so, I've got to hang on.

In the environment that I live in, everything is about STUDYING. Wherever I go, I get reminders to study. That's what they say, it is just a REMINDER. However, the message behind it is study every single day and waste time not for unecessary things such as for leisure purposes. *Sigh

Later at 8 am today will be the Charity Home Visit where my group will be babysitting kids from the orphanage for a day. Yesterday, we transported 15 tables to the SRC room. Man, those tables aren't light but hey, there is not enough people. So, I just did help. I feel the aches on my shoulder now. -____- Still, it was a good experience to test your physical strength. I AM strong! :D

Okay, I guess I should really get back to hitting my books now. Yes, at this hour in the morning. I am not mad, okay?

Even so, life is still good.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Orientation update

I am feeling tired, random and everything.

I didn't get to eat a solid meal today since I lost all appetite. So, I had pisang goreng and cekodok. Even so, that was only dinner. Oh yeah, I had a chewing gum too. I'm sooo tempted to eat chocolate right now but after the criticisms I had, I would assume that it is best to not consume fattening stuff.

Who knows, I might just eat this chocolate...

Pictures will be up much later after it is collected. I would say that the dress codes were successful especially 'Candyman'. Oh well, I can't wait for orientation to be over, I guess...

My right hip hurts. I still don't know why. I haven't been feeling good lately. It's probably because of the lack of sleep but I'm pretty sure that everyone else feels that way too. Other than that, I still haven't finish transferring the contents from my old blog to this one.

Until next time then...

Monday, March 10, 2008

1 skit down!

One skit down, and a couple more to go. As promised, pictures will be up as soon as I get them.

I got to dress as a Masaai woman today. A Kenyan girl lent me her traditional clothes.

Treasure hunt was quite an experience. For one thing, I was grateful that I'm a girl because the guys got it way worse than us. I will never forget how we prepared a meal for our "enemy" using coffee powder, sugar, salt, mandarin oranges and toothpaste. Oh yeah, and ketchup! Though my group didn't put in toothpaste, the other team did (that's what I heard). When our seniors asked again who our greatest enemy is, it turned out to be "Yourself". So, we ended up having to eat what we've prepared. Disgusting as it may seem, oranges made it all better.

At another station, we had to eat onions. Lining up so randomly with me as the only girl in the group of boys, I had to eat onion too. I'm not complaining and in fact, it was the first time I ate raw onions. Though it was not as big as what William took, it was nasty for a while. Real nasty especially at the nostrils.

I must admit, William and Arthur were like the heroes for the day. William did 100 push ups while the rest of the guys did 50. Thanks to William, the girls did not need to do any. Arthur on the hand, got most of the ragging on behalf of the group. It is okay if the seniors want us to do something, but the way they talk to us is just 'one kind' as if there is no need for respect.

Oh yeah, for the first aid test, it turned out to be a fake. So, I'm not worried about it so much now. But, for the candyman performance, I'm really worried because I can't exactly dance in heels and I need help! I know how the guys in my group are laughing at me. Seriously, I'm laughing at myself too. What to do? What to do?

I hope the videos for our performance will be up soon youtube so that I can view it. I'm really exhausted now. So, until next time... *burp*

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

So tensed...

I feel tensed. With 3 sketches, 1 music video and a belly dance routine to work on, I am stressed working out the steps and also brainstorming for ideas. Everyone is working hard, and we have PBLs to prepare for plus First Aid test. Here goes another good night sleep.

Dancing used to be my passion but now, it becomes tiring for me to handle. Every part of my body aches including the neck. I hope I did not sprain it or something cos I would assume that if I did, I wouldn't be able to move now. To dance in couples is sooo challenging. I'm stuck between making a decision. I don't want to be mean or anything. *sigh*

I just wish that there is someone I can dance with forever and ever, someone who can read my mind and keep me safe. But, that sort of guy rarely exists. I miss ballet. I miss a lot of things. I miss blogging too. I didn't eat much today. Don't know why I wasn't hungry at all; perhaps, there is too much fluid in my body.

I hope that I won't be bedridden tomorrow and by that, I mean, I still have the ability to walk despite all the pain. I shall not complain. :D

Monday, March 03, 2008

Short update on skit

Right now, I'm in one of the PBL rooms. I can't believe that it is my first time blogging from Uni. So, everyone's practicing their lines for the sketch. I have nothing to do, so, I'm just lazing around while listening to the others.
Hello! Just crashing Esther's blog... Although both of us should
really be paying attention to practising our skit. Esther has been
contributing a LOT of ideas to the group, which is really great. =)) by Sharon

Lol. Aww.., Sharon, you are contributing lots of ideas too.

I sense that Arthur is under a lot of stress, from the sighing and the tired eyes. We all know that he is working very very hard. Every one of us is. I have a feeling that I'll be here until 8pm.

Gosh... so many things to do especially choreography, so little time...

Finally, Arthur has said it, "We have a PROBLEM!"

And now he says, "What am I? BANANA..."


Sunday, March 02, 2008

Orientation (Part 1)

Sorry guys, for not updating. Since uni started, I've been busy. On Tuesday, we were separated into our Orientation groups and that was when we meet our OOs. There are many floating OOs in my group and they are all in Sem 5. Did I mention that they were all nice, enthusiastic and funny?

There are two international students in my group. Once from Sri Lanka and the other from Hong Kong. I'm glad that I have a great group because everyone is so enthusiastic and we try our best to work together. In the coming week, there will be 3 sketches, 1 music video and a dance routine which needs to be choreographed.
So, for the past one week, we had been having meetings and lots of them.
The guy holding the papers is Arthur, the group leader. The girl beside him is the assistant group leader. Beside Arthur is our OO, William and beside him is Jien.
From left, Atharina- "the smallest" one of all, followed by Sharlinie from Sri Lanka and Thamerie who I call Tumeric. William called her tumeric first because it was difficult to remember her name.
That was how they discussed the plot of the first sketch.

The one in purple is Lilian and beside her is Mae Yue.

Not long after, it was already a Friday. No more pictures to show because I used Manlo's camera who isn't in any of the pictures yet. There was dry icebreakers on Friday.

So, that's me, Lydia (our 'mummy') and Sharon who happens to be my senior in Secondary school.
Beside me is Gan and Arthur. They are really funny people and Arthur knows how to crack up jokes everytime. And he always use bombastic words, even when chatting online. But anyway, Gan will be the flag bearer and Gan, please protect it with your life. We don't want to have it stolen or anything.
From left, Kie Shen who always curse me that I'll fail my driving test. *touchwood touchwood* Then, there's Tai who is from Alor Setar. He is the opposite of Kie Shen at least. Tai and Kie Shen are like unseparable. Beside me is Jien from Malacca.
From the right, Mae Yue who studied in Singapore previously, Lilian, Rachel, Atharina and me!
There, Manlo is on the furthest left. As I mentioned, he is from Hong Kong. Then, there is Warren, a Korean guy-look-alike followed by me, Thamerie, Dave the POTW and Sharlinie.

Well, that's just a random picture. Arthur was trying to show off a little, weren't you, Arthur? Nah, I was just joking. Since we always take pictures with the same pose, we decided to try something different for a change. More about Arthur, he's younger than me but more mature than me. He's taking dentistry with Lydia and Warren too.

Now, to introduce the OOs. I've only managed to take pictures with 3 of them as the others are on vacation and will only be returning next week. Our super OOs because all of them are in Sem 5.

This is William. He is a mixed of a lot of things. So much that I'm confused. He says that he is a Hong Kee and part of him is Vietnamese. He is a very funny guy and I think we're all lucky to have him as our OO lah...
That is Jeremy. He is one of the floating OOs and it's cool to have him around. Everytime he speaks, we'll all be listening attentively to him. He talks about his life experiences and stuff like that. We're also lucky to have him around.
Finally, this is Aditya from Kenya. We haven't got to know him yet because he hasn't come to our group meetings. I'm sure he is a busy person since he is in the student council but nevertheless, we are expecting his presence next week. :D