Thursday, May 31, 2007

Something simple

I can’t resist the temptation to blog. A few more hours, and I’ll be heading to Ipoh. So, I’m going to write something simple…

I had a short chat with Infectioner the other day.
L.R :If drug addicts are sent to Pusat Serenti, what about blog addicts?
Renoit: Ask them to find me…
L.R : -___-lll
His blog cracks me up but chatting with him always make me –> -__-ll swt

Jasmine, on the other hand, makes me go ‘Wow’. She’s one lucky girl if you ask me. She has been to Korea and lately, she got to know Korean b-boys! She’s one heck of a talented blogger, a photographer and a great friend. I just love the pictures she takes. Well, not only hers but Hui Wen’s as well.

Currently, I’m listening to James Blunt. His songs are beautiful; lovely tune, lovely rhythm. We have heard of You’re Beautiful from the album Back To Bedlam. We also heard Goodbye My Lover. I personally like Cry and Tears and Rain.

Tears and Rain by James Blunt

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I’d chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I’ve found no meaning.

I guess it’s time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure’s the same:
it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I’ve heard what they say, but I’m not here for trouble.
It’s more than just words: it’s just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I’m so cold from fear.

I guess it’s time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I’ve heard what they say, but I’m not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It’s more than just words: it’s just tears and rain.

If the question “Why does she even like this song?” when you don’t like it, the answer is when I like a song, I just like it. Just like when you like someone, you sometimes find no reason why you like the special person, right? Maybe it’s just the invisible bond that forms when you develop a liking with certain criterias and when you found it, you just ‘click’.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Innocence by Avril Lavigne

Yesterday, I asked my friend to recommend me new songs that are nice. She proposed Innocence by Avril Lavigne. I have to say that indeed, it is nice. I was once a big fan of Avril’s when she first released her album ‘Let Go’. I lost interest when ‘Under My Skin’ was released. Now, it’s ‘The Best Damn Thing’. Listening to Innocence make me smile for now reason. I just love it, not only the lyrics but the tune as well. I think she has a grr-eat voice. Don’t you think so? Oh well, it’s just one person’s opinion. Here you go…

Innocence by Avril Lavigne

Waking up I see that everything is okay
The first time in my life and now it’s so great!
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn’t change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by
I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it’s so clear
Feel calm I belong, I’m so happy here
It’s so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn’t change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliance, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

It’s the state of bliss you think you’re dreaming
It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling
It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It’s the state of bliss you think you’re dreaming
It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling
It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It’s so beautiful it makes you want to cry

This innocence is brilliance, it makes you want to cry
This innocence is brilliance, please don’t go away
‘Cause I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by
This innocence is brilliance, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

Silly Thoughts

Imagine if your blog is just another part of you, then, everytime you blog, you’d be talking to yourself (or your conscience). It’s like a place where you talk to yourself, only it’s public and everyone knows what you’re talking to yourself. Funny thought.

Anyway a month back, there was a debate between SMI Ipoh and SS17 Subang Jaya. The motion of the day ‘Blogging should be outlawed’. Indeed, the heat was still on back then. The affirmative was SS17 while the negative side was held by SMI.

One of the points debated was it should not be outlawed because of actions of a few bloggers. If blogging is outlawed because a couple of bloggers abused their rights of blogging and possibly caused chaos, does that mean that driving should be banned because minority of society drinks, get drunk, and drive? Or perhaps ban the usage of telephones because some people play prank calls and ban the entire sms system because prank smses happens as well! It got me thinking, what if communication and transportation really is banned? O.o That ain’t a pretty sight. People ain’t gonna be happy…

Another point given which caught my attention was that blogging should not be outlawed because it is a place for bloggers to express their thoughts and outlawing it is taking away the freedom of speech. Then, the debator gave a few examples of how it is not a crime that it should not be outlawed. The first is a 5 year old kid writing, “Today, I ate strawberry ice cream.” Then, a 15 year old teenager writing, “Oh my gawd, that guy is so cute…”. Lastly, a 65 year old grandpa writing, “After 60 years, a hole in one!”

And if I’m not into serious blogging, I’d probably write “he toked 2 me 2day… i’m sooo happie… he is soo cutee n soo farny… hehe.. but horr, he dun like me cos he like my friend… so, i’ll take revenge on him n he’ll regret.. muahaha…” -____-lll

I don’t know about you guys but it sure did captivate me. Did I mention that I rarely got a chance to attend debates? Besides, I was also doing my English assignment about blogging, so it is like killing two birds with one stone. I’ve got to admit, because I am a blogger myself, I definitely take sides and that is probably why I didn’t write about what the affirmative mentioned because they were just contradicting themselves.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Worse things could happen

I read this in Friendster and I thought that I should share this with you. Parents and teenagers, tell me your views.

A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then, he saw an envolope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”.With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

“Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you, but I’m leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you’ll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn’tso old these days, is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn’t stand in the way of our relationship, don’t you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It’s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he’ll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and we’ll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know yourgrandchildren.

Your loving daughter, Rosie.”

At the bottom of the page were the letters “PTO (Please Turn Over)”. Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbour’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home… I love you!!!
The universal fact: All parents want their children to do well but what happens when their children can’t live up to their expectations?

I’m sure that parents would be disappointed and start unleashing unbearable words due to their anger. Some parents probably won’t. Throughout my school life, I had friends telling me how their parents beat them. Some went to school with black and blue, some complained about how they got grounded while many got a long lecture. After hearing stories of my friends, I realised that it is not the As’ and improvements made in grades that they see but rather how many Bs’ or Cs’ their children get. Furthermore, in our report cards, A is seen as ‘Excellent’ while B is seen as ‘Good’ and C as ‘Average’. No matter what it is, we (as students and daughters/sons) must get an A.

Sometimes, the A is so usual that they place no importance. For example, if the child always score A in English and Maths, then, over the years, it does not matter if the child score and A because it is assumed that the child would score again. However, it is not as easy as it seems because to maintain an A average is not easy.

I remember how happy my friends and I would be after midterms or finals but when it comes to getting the results, we were worried of how we could fulfill our parents’ wishes of getting maximum As. Especially if there is a sibling in the family, there would be comparisons. If the older sibling is good in something, then the younger sibling is expected to be as good as the older sibling. Would you agree? Well, I’m just saying that from my point of view and I’m hoping to collect your views.

Another question that was lingering in my mind over the past few years is ‘What is the ideal punishment for a child who doesn’t perform well academically?’ Often the influence of friends and the time spent on the television or other media is brought into the topic, but (to parents), how well do you know your child’s friends and how often do you talk to your kids about their life? I realised that as teenagers grow to be more mature, some also tend to grow apart from their parents but closer with their friends with the reason that they can’t talk to their parents about some topics such as relationships. They can’t talk to their parents about the girl or guy that they like. It is as if the topic is a taboo. Therefore, they turn in to their friends.

I feel bad when I don’t perform well academic-wise. I reflect and I continue to work harder. I’m not like others and others are not like me. I am aware of my responsibility and the need in achieving good results now that I’m in college. In my opinion, I think that young children should be aware and taught about how to deal with the matter if they ever come through such situation.
Worse things could happen than just bad results in a report card. So, don’t be so harsh but instead give some encouragement.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

You Are The One by Elliot Yamin

Alright, here’s another lyrics that you guys might like. I find this song touching and meaningful. Well, actually, most of the songs that I put up are meaningful to me but I don’t know about you guys. This singer, as I might have once said, has a beautiful vocal. So, enjoy!

You Are The One by Elliot Yamin

HmmmmmmOoooooooh

Sometimes I sit and I wonder
And I just can’t seem to believe
What a blessing it’s been to be loved
You’re an angel sent to me

You’re the star who lights up my sky
You’re the one who made me see
That you don’t need wings to fly
Your love has set me free

‘Cause you are the one who makes me whole
In my heart and in my soul
And just like the sun you showed my the light
I’m amazed and you’re the reason why

Before you I was so blind
I didn’t know which path to choose
You poured all of this love in my heart
And there’s no way that I can lose

And when I have no faith in myself
You’re the one who makes me strong
I wouldn’t have a story to tell
Or an ending to my song

‘Cause you are the one who makes me whole
In my heart and in my soul
And just like the sun you showed my the light
I’m amazed and you’re the reason why

Oooohh you’re the reason why
Oh oooooooh

You are the one who makes me whole
In my heart and in my soul
Just like the sun you showed my the light
I’m amazed and you’re the reason why

Cause you are the one who makes me whole
In my heart and in my soul
Just like the sun you showed my the light
I’m amazed and you’re the reason why

You are the one who makes me whole
In my heart and in my soul
And just like the sun you showed my the light
I’m amazed and you’re the reason why

Hmmmmmm Ooooooh

Raw fish, mutated fish, whatever

I just came back from MidValley. I was having Japanese food for dinner at Kiku Zakura.
The non-smoking area was like a smoking area. I felt like suffocating in there. I guess that is one way to proove that the orientation and movements of smoke particles are Brown Movements (direct translation from Gerakan Brown). I ordered the sushi and udon set. The udon, to me was salty. I still prefer the udon in Sushi King because it had a little (or should I say faint?) taste of sweetness in the soup. The sushi did not taste so bad. What worried me was the tuna fish. Well, it was my first time taking raw tuna, at least I think it’s raw. Usually, I would take salmon and other sorts of raw fish on the menu but not tuna. Tuna fish, when compared to other types of fish is darker in colour. It is redder and it looks like beef, except that it’s fish. (What am I saying?)

Still, the colour gives me the creeps. It made me wonder why miotom muscles vary in colour. Could it be the genes that gives it the colour? Probably. If humans can have mutated genes or chromosomes, what about fishes and other animals? Even if we ate a mutated fish, we wouldn’t know right? If skin cancer is due to mutation after being over exposed to ultraviolet, how about fishes developing scale cancer? *hahaha…* Anyway, back to mutation… If and only IF fishes mutate and is consumed by humans, will humans mutate too? That’s not logical. I’m not being logical now. Still, I doubt that would happen… *grins*

Fish are friends, not food. Wait, wait… Fish are food, not friends. Or is it the other way round? Fish are friends and food?

Too much of imagination is not good. You’ve seen what it has caused me to think and write. LOL.

Friday, May 25, 2007

If I could,... then, I would...

I’m feeling… disappointed; agitated; pathetic.

At some point, I’m tired of what I’m doing. I’m tired of holding back and keeping things to myself. I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of others…

Sometimes, I wish I could take a break. Actually, a lot of times. I bet the people who visited my blog over the year are tired of reading the same phrase over and over and OVER again. If I could, then, I would: stare at the green the whole day; feel the breeze; get drenched in the rain or even stare at the stars. I want to be with someone who I like and talk the whole night. Well, I’m still dreaming. This ain’t gonna happen. For one thing, the amount of green I see is not increasing. I only see green in the garden in campus. I won’t be able to stare at stars because I don’t see stars anymore and that I don’t have a nice spot for me to rest and look out for stars. Lastly, I don’t think the person I like would want to do what I like to do. IF I could, then, I would.

I am being rather pessimistic now. Don’t ask why…

As I quote from a Rie Fu’s lyrics, ‘Nobody knows who I really am.’ People know me on the outside. I am judged on the outside. What matters on the inside- not many knows. Probably my brother would be the one who knows how angelic I am how fun I can be and what blessings he have by having me as a sister… Another person is a good friend from Ipoh. He took quite a long time in knowing how I really am. How am I really? I wouldn’t know but I’m sure he does because everything just ‘click’ and he probably can figure out what I’m going to do.

You see, to me, knowing someone is like hanging on a tree while being blown by the wind. When I let go, I probably lose my chances in knowing other people. But I believe that with patience and perseverance, not only do I build up my personality, I also get to understand someone else better. So, it’s like a win-win situation. If I could, then, I would just hang on in there. Many people I know went with the flow. They let go and followed where the wind brought them. That probably explains why I don’t have many close friends. It’s all because of me…

2nd Letter to Chemistry

Dear Chemistry,

You have no idea how hard you are. You confuse me. You make me lose my confidence. I thought we could be well together but I was wrong. I’m not disappointed in you. I’m disappointed in myself for thinking that I could present to you my best. Today was not my best. Don’t you worry, I will be back and I will work hard on our relationship in the next semester.

For this semester, I hope you would at least allow me to maintain a ‘B’ average in order to fulfill the requirements for the scholarship. Chemistry, there are so many chemistry around that I don’t know which chemistry to start first. What I thought was easy turned out to be hard. What I thought to be hard turned out to be something I could do (sometimes). I’m still waiting for the window of opportunity to open so that I could shine in you…

Still the same buckets of love,
Lilacreveries…

Thursday, May 24, 2007

WENT of "Strike"

Alright! Four down, and one to go… Biology rocks (for now).

Currently, I’m chilling with Joshil and Kabilan in ‘The Web’. They are doing their IB (International Business) assignment and I am… blogging. I can’t absorb anything now. I was reading Biology since this morning at the library in ADP. It was cooling, quiet and nice. There were enough lockers for everyone. I’m happy, they’re happy. Everyone’s happy.

My dad came back from South Africa two days ago and I got some souveniors from a friend there. I got to know that two of my friends are happily married. This time, my dad bought me three t-shirts and a Seventeen magazine. T-shirts from Mr. Price are not only nice, but reasonable at price too. Written on the shirts were ‘Cute but Unattached’, ‘Naughty but Nice’ and ‘Add Me To Your Wishlist’. In my previous trip, I bought one saying ‘Explain to me again why I need a boyfriend’, ‘If you think my music is too loud, then, you’re too old’ and ‘Me, myself and shopping’. Really cool-Ts.

For a split second, I thought I was having writer’s block since I didn’t know what to write.

A few months back, I was searching for bloggers to be interviewed for my English assignment. Well, during the search, I was turned down by one of the most popular bloggers in Malaysia who I shall not name. The reason: There are many projects to be finished in March and April. Therefore, he might not have time to spare for this interview. So, I sort of went on strike- never to visit his blog again. One fine day, my brother “polluted” my laptop with his site and I got to know that he has been travelling to Kuala Lumpur, Penang and other places! Maybe I’m just judging too quickly but if he does not have time for an interview which could probably take just a few minutes, how was it possible for him to spend a few nights socializing far away from home?
I guess it is reasonable for me to indirectly hold a grudge on him. (Or maybe not) It took me weeks to find for another blogger. That was when Lydia Teh introduced me to Kak Teh and Xeus. I guess that’s an arrangement I did not foresee but thankfully, an arrangement which saved my English assignment in time.

Now, I still visit his blog. I don’t see the point of going on ’strike’ when he doesn’t know and only my brother does (and now you guys).

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

An end... for them...

Two days down and three to go…

To be honest, I am not at all looking forward to the next holidays because by the time I come back to college, my seniors will not be here anymore. Although I don’t bump into them frequently, there is always a feeling left behind like something is missing. I won’t be seeing Joanne, Calvin, Alvin, Joshil, Kabilan, Darell and a few others.

I remember the first time when I stepped into college. I felt alienated until these seniors came along, I learnt to have fun in the middle of stress. It is not only the fun. The time spent while bonds take their places, forming friendship is something that is valuable and priceless. Nevertheless, I will still see Joanna on Saturdays if I go for frisbee. As for the others, I think they are going overseas by September (except for Kabilan). Although the time duration we knew one another was short, but it felt like months.

Then, a new badge of students for the June intake will come and join us. The cycle goes on and on and on. Parting for some is hard but eventually everyone moves on with their lives, maybe a few will remember their friends in college. Some may not at all…

Monday, May 21, 2007

Stuffed Toys Evaluation

I love cows and teddy bears especially when they are in forms of cartoon or stuffed toys. Of course, it has to be adorable for me to like it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be hyped when I see them. Maybe you might want to know a little bit about how teddy bears came to be.

“It all started when President Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt went a hunting trip and had an encounter with a bear. He called off the trip and had another one in an are where there are no bears. However, he was infuriated when someone tied a bear cub to a tree.

Somehow, cartoonist, entrepreneurs and a few more companies produced goods with pictures of Teddy and his Bear. Then, Steiff, a German made the first jointed Teddy Bears in autumn 1902 just in time for Christmas! Those kids must have been really happy.

In 1903, there was a fair and there were magazines and even a market selling Teddy Bears. It was popular for Teddy Bears provided comfort and consolation for both young and old people.”
(Teddy Bears, 2006.)

How do I evaluate soft toys? I’ll start off with the special features: the sparkling eyes which seems to be hidden beneath their thick ‘fur’ (?). Sometimes, I’d imagine them telling me, ”Buy me.. Buy me..” Another would probably saying, “NO… No.. Buy me instead.. I’ll be there for you whenever you need me.” Then, I’ll be in dilemma. No matter how cute they are, I can only choose to “save” one or not save any at all.

The next thing I’ll take into consideration is the material the stuffed toy is made out of. If I like the material, then, I’ll think about whether or not to buy it. I don’t like stuffed toys that are too furry (since I’m asthmatic) or made of something that could possibly bring discomfort to the skin. Since every individual has different opinions about the materials, the degree of comfort that the soft toy can provide varies.

I will also reason with the price of whether it is worth it or not. Few years back, Beanie Babies were the ‘IN’ thing. Every kid wanted one. It was everywhere. Small, cute and cuddly, each was at least RM19.90 if I’m not mistaken. Then, came a new badge of soft toys from Memory Lane, Lovely Lace, Hallmark etc. To me, I definitely prefered the latter mentioned but it was too costly (since I did not have pocket money back then).

Therefore, I only buy stuffed toys once a year for my brother’s birthday. Last year, I bought him a teddy bear which is lovable although the size of its head is not proportional to the body. I named him ‘Alfred’. Alfred still has the nice sweet scent since the day I bought him in Lovely Lace (around November 2006).

Sunday, May 20, 2007

That's Life...

My hands are shaking. My heartbeat is faster than usual. My mind is not focused. I find myself suffocating once in a while. I know why… I forgot to breathe. -__-ll

So that is how it is like to sit for a midterm paper for the first time in English, in a new environment, in a place where all around you is no longer your friends but competitors in studies. One whack, and you find yourself flat on the ground. You try to get up, but came another whack. You fall straight again, but you’re hanging in there. It is like in a boxing ring. Until the bell rings, you have to fight until the very end. The unbearable pain and torture; it’s all psychologically and emotionally affecting you. You bleed; you have bruises; you feel like dying but you can’t complain and say you quit. Quitters never win. Winners never quit. Nothing is easy. Nobody said it was easy. You can’t do anything but deal with it.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Letter to Chemistry

Woah, I can’t believe I fell asleep after calling a friend who was about to sleep. That is what happens when you talk while lying on the bed, hugging a pillow and holding a soft toy in your hands. I have sacrificed my studying time and now, I would have to study the whole night to replace back that time. Looks like, I can’t blog that much for the time being which I thought it would be possible.

Dear Chemistry,

I do not hate you if you let me understand you more. When you appear in structural formulaes and I am supposed to identify you, you make me confused. When I thought that I understood you, I was wrong. There was a lot that about you that I wasn’t sure- the types of bond that you can form, your polarity also your physical properties.

Qualitatively and quantitatively, I think I can understand you but I hope you don’t make things hard for others, let alone me. Mother nature is complicated enough and I know you mean well to let us know about the carbon cycle, the nitrogen cycle, how photochemical smog is formed, acid rain, eutrophication as well as enhanced greenhouse effect.

Don’t ever get the idea that I like Biology, Physics, Maths and English more than I like you because I like every subject just the way they are: no more nor less. Although people tell me every year that Chemistry is the hardest one of all, I do not believe them because I believe that you open windows of opportunities to every one of us to get love you.

Therefore, I have no right to hate you in anyway. I just want you to know that I don’t hate you and that I hope that you would give me a chance to know you better. Don’t you think that all we need is to understand each other so that things can be done easier?

So, Chemistry. I have to study you now.

With buckets of love,
Lilacreveries…

I’m not crazy, at least I don’t think I am.. am I? *Wait, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know*

Friday, May 18, 2007

What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts

It’s 5.15 am. I was writing my Physics practical report which I thought that I could finish by 12midnight but I ended up falling asleep around 2 am. I got up around 2.15 am because my mum was knocking on the door. Since then, I couldn’t sleep nor was I sleepy. Just a couple or few times, my mind would wander somewhere else and thinking of something else. I’d think about yesterday and the day before that, a few weeks/months/years back. These few days, I seem to have lost my appetite. Yesterday, I ate an omelette and drank a cup of hot Milo for breakfast while dinner was nearly half the amount of fish porridge. I gave the other half to my mum.

This time, I’m going to share with you guys another favourite song of mine.

What Hurts The Most- Rascal Flatts.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again i pretend i’m okay but that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
But i’m doin it
It’s hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i’m alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But i know if i could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken

What hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
And never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

not seein that lovin you
that’s what I was tryin to do...

*Still Alive*

*I’m still alive*

This has got to be my best record of being awake for the past 16 hours with only 15 minutes of sleep. The weird thing was I that I wasn’t sleepy at all. Maybe I feel a little drowsy now but then, I wasn’t tired at all. Also, I was fasting not eating. I was my own experiment. I wondered how long I could stand without food and I think I could reach a day until my mum made me ate the fried noodles she bought.

Oh yeah, yesterday, I was in the Multi-Purpose Hall (MPH) where Joshil and Kabilan were having their presentation. There were many ICPU students and their project was to build a car which can run for 20 metres with a mouse trap. It was so SO SO cool. From there, I learnt that cds and those black plates can be used as wheels. I learnt that alignment is important in order to reach the finish line without deviating and curving. Also, slow and steady wins the race.

It was really cool. Models of different shapes and sizes, even materials. Some used wood, some used plastic. One model which I would never forget is the 4-wheel drive car model. There were models made out of wood only. Another which amazed me was Mark’s (Jo and Kab’s friend). Although it did not reach 20 metres but what drew my attention was that he was working on the project by himself! (He has nice pants too; grey and white). It takes a lot of brainpower in building that. Everything was awe-inspiring. WOW……

Alright, now I’ve got to chill. I’m really tired and as you know, lack of sleep. SLEEEPPP….. sleeeppppp… Finally, I have no more assignments due and I can now focus on my midterm (which would be on Monday till Friday :S). So, I have two plans which I should choose only one.

Plan 1: Sleep until 11 pm or the next morning and only then, study.
Plan 2: Study until midnight and then, sleep.

I want to follow Plan 1 but somehow, I feel that I will follow Plan 2. Is that a Plan 3 which I just synthesis out of the merging of Plan 1 and Plan 2? Wokay, before I continue to be mad……, until tomorrow or the next few days then. I’m afraid I won’t have time to update for a week or these few days.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

*Munching* tortillas

Here I am, munching on some Chacos (junk food) at 11.45 pm, 15 minutes before Wednesday. A few more hours before passing up the Biology Human Awareness Essay and the detailed outline for chemistry. A few more hours before the Biology presentation whereby nothing is prepared by the group yet.

*Still munching Chacos* While I got distracted from my work, I was listening to some Tamil songs which aren’t so bad. What I would recommend if you are interested:

Aaruyire- Guru
Swift C’s Remix- Jazzy Belle
Loosu Penne- Vallavan OST
Nee Mutham Ondru- Pokkiri OST
Munbe Munbe Vaa
and Lal Ghagra which is Bhangra not Tamil

Okay, so there are somethings you should know about Chacos. Chacos is a brand for Tortilla corn chips. They are made with 100% stone-ground masa corn flour from America. The small packet is sold at RM2 in Kiosk while the larger pack is sold at RM4.30. The spicy curry flavour tastes quite good actually but not the cheesy cheese. There is no artificial colouring I wanted to get the barbequed flavour but I mistakenly took the cheesey one. The amount of fats is less than carbohydrate.

One thing I don’t like about it is that after munching it, it gets stuck to my teeth. Furthermore, I get tired of munching. It feels like more energy is required to chew compared to other junk food.*Okay, junk food review over*

*munch munch munch munch munch munch munch* *Jaw hurts*

Monday, May 14, 2007

My one and ONLY mum

It’s not raining cats and dogs but it feels like Zeus dropt his thunder bolts by accident. In short, there is lightning and thunder every where but it is not raining YET. It is frightening when it strikes too near to the condo.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. I’m sure every one had something to say about what they did for their mother. Well, here is mine. I didn’t do much. I wished her and I gave her RM50 to spend. I know it is so “traditional Chinese” but there was nothing I could do besides wishing her and being angelic for one day. When I was in Standard 2, I learnt about Mother’s Day. I used to make ‘masterplans’ for Mother’s Day and my mum’s birthday (because they fall in the same month). For years, I would give handmade cards but this year, I stopped because I did not have the time.

I’m pretty sure that my mum faced a lot of hardship in raising my brother and I, not forgetting daddy too.. My brother and I used to fight a lot. That was before we understood what sibling love was about. He was after all 10 years older than me. As time passes, he became more mature but I stayed the same: a spoilt brat. Still, my family are patient with me. I remember that mother would buy a lot of canes to teach me a lesson whenever I’m naughty but in return, I would throw the canes she bought from the night market into the drain behind our house.

I also remember the times when she would break up fights between my brother and I by coming after us with a clothe hanger. She didn’t hit us with that. She only scared us and made us run to our rooms and lock ourselves in there. My mother is no ordinary mother. Well, every mother is different and has got their special features. Mine can listen to three people’s problems in the families- my dad’s, my brother’s and mine. She also cooks grr-eat food and shops with/for us. She has good ‘taste’ in fashion and she has good ‘taste’ in boys I meet or girls my brother know. Her heart is made out of gold and her kindness is incomparable to mine. She puts the other’s needs before hers (Daddy too…but my brother.. errmmm… *boy-oh-boy will my brother come after me this weekend.. haha)

The only thing I could wish for her (well, for my family too) is to live a long and healthy life with happiness. Who wouldn’t want their family to be so, right?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

When boredom strikes...

How pretty is pretty?
How ugly is ugly?
How pretty is ugly?
How ugly is pretty?

If pretty is ugly, is ugly then pretty?
If ugly is pretty, is pretty then ugly?
Then, ugly is pretty ugly and pretty is vice versa(?)

This is this, that is that,
this is not that nor is that this.
If this is not this but that and that is not that but this,
‘what’ is this and that,
then that and this are ‘what’..?

This is nothing;
That is something;
Nothing is something;
Is this that?

Zero is nothing;
Then, zero is something although it’s nothing.

I went to a pet shop just now. I wanted to get a maltese but the maintainence cost is high for me. Although it is so so so so cute, my mum thinks I should get a shih tzu instead. At the end of the day, the decision is my dad’s and my brother’s.

If puppies could understand poetry, how nice would it be?

Life Is Like A Boat by Rie Fu

Life Is Like A Boat by Rie Fu

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone and come along
Who’s gonna comfort me and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves will guide you through another day

Tooku de iki o shiteru
Toome ni natta mitai
Kurayami ni omoeta kedo
Mekaku shisareteta dake

Inori o sasagete
Atarashii hi o matsu
Asayaka ni hikaru umi
Sono hate made e

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don’t give a damn
But if I ever need someone and come along
I know you will follow me and keep me strong

Hito no kokoro wa utsuri yuku
Mukedashitaku naru
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de
Fune o tsureteku

And every time I see your face
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars
And soon I can see the shore

Ah, I can see the shore?
When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I’d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you and keep you strong

Tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku
Odayaka na hi mo
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de
Fune o terashiasu

Inori o sasagete
Atarashii hi o matsu
Asayaka ni hikaru umi
Sono hate made

And every time I see your face
The oceans heat up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars
And soon I can see the shore

Unmei no mune o kogi
Nami wa tsugi kara tsugi e to
Watashitachi o osou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne
Dore mo suteki na tabi ne

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Of Grasshoppers and Dragonflies

What are the odds of standing on the second floor and a friend, a few metres away from you points at the railing where you turn and see a four-inch grasshopper?

Well, I never expected that. Sure, grasshoppers fly but I never found out how high they could fly. What is more unexpected was that it was my first time looking at a grasshopper with dark green and slightly brown spots whereas its whole body was light green. I guess you would have figured that I screamed and ran. I only did that because I thought the grasshopper was going to jump on me. It did look ready to eat me up jump on me.

Traumatised, I was for a few hours. Yet, that was my closest encounter with a grasshopper. I remember in Form 4, I had a closed encounter with a dragonfly. Because the area was dark and I could rarely see anything but a door ahead of me, a dragonfly landed on my face! How did I know that it was a dragonfly? Because when the area was brighter, the only thing flying around there was a dragonfly. Also, that dragonfly had been there for quite some time. Did I mention that it was huge?

My friend would always bug me by saying, “Pucker up, Esther!” I would take revenge by screaming, “Cockroach!” whenever I can. *evil chuckle* As for another friend, I’d scream “Squirrel, aahh!!!!” So, I’m not 100% good after all. I have some evil naught-iness in me. muahaha…

Thursday, May 10, 2007

I'm no robot...

I was sleeping when I felt the vibration on my bed. I picked up my handphone and saw that I received an sms. I replied and without realising, I fell asleep. The next time when I woke up, I had 4 new smses. How do I feel being bugged while sleeping? I’m mad.Why? I’m sleeping and I told the person that I’m sleeping so that he won’t message anymore but he kept on messaging. Another reason is because that was my only quality sleeping time for the past one week. Yes, I’ve been sleeping on the chair again.

I’m tired. I’m freaking exhausted. I slept at 3 something yesterday to finish an essay I never knew I had to write. How is it possible that I didn’t know? Because there were 3 formats of writing, and only one is the one which my lecterur wants but every one kept insisting that the format of presentation is correct which leaves me to go up to my lecturer and ask him what he wants. He told me in return, an essay around 1-2 pages. Since my topic was MRI (magnetic resonance imaging), it was challenging writing the Physics principles behind it because there were two main principles- electromagnetism (three types) and resonance. So, I took about a day and a half to finish an essay with a referance list (knew this last minute) and highlighted sources.

Not forgetting the peer teaching, I felt bad towards the students who I promised to work on Maths with. Well, I had my other friend to replace me at first but then, when I joined in to see how my friend was coping with it, I felt guilty towards them. In the end, my friend and I ended up teaching together for nearly 50 minutes. It was really cool since I had a marker pen with me and a whiteboard in front of me. It makes things easier to be explained. I feel the burden of how and why I should be 100% sure of what I’m learning. I do wonder how my lecturers can teach in a calm manner, knowing how and what to do in a way that students can listen and learn.
I guess there are some things you’d never realise until you’re in their shoes…

In days to come:

Monday
Due date for Biology practical report
Due date for another part of the Chemistry assignment

Tuesday
Malaysian Studies final exam (have got no time to study )

Wednesday
Due date for Human Awareness Essay (my topic: the detriments and benefits of coffee consumption)
Biology presentation: Effects of alcohol towards cell metabolism
Due date for Chemistry preliminary outline

Thursday
Due date for Physics practical report

Why should time be spent wisely?

Because after next week, I will be having a midterm exam. My teachers are giving out a lot of past year papers for us to try. So many that I fear that I don’t have time to finish them all. There isn’t time for me to revise what I learnt in the first half semester. By right, I should finish at least one topic for Physics, 3 subtopics for Biology, 3 subtopics for Chemistry and 1 chapter for Maths in a day but that is hardly possible due to the time factor. -__-ll SAM is a one-year course where I should learn and finish everything in a short period of time. I should learn to juggle my time well. I wonder how other students cope with it…

Do you understand now why I always complain about time? Because I really am running out of time and I’m really tired.

When then do I have time for blogging? Because blogging only takes a while and I need to chill once in a while. I’m no robot…

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Trying the other way...

Have you ever wonder why people say ‘Testing 1, 2, 3′ on the microphone instead of ‘Testing A, B, C’? Usually, we would go for the usuals, don’t you think? When we form a sentence, it is also from left to right. Instead of : ‘This is an apple.’

Why not: ‘apple an is This’.

That would be weird but it is extra-ordinary. Instead of reciting the alphabets from A to Z, why not try Z to A? If you can do both, you are versatile. At least you are not like a robot who knows how to do things like a ‘one-way street’.

Even typing this entry is weird because I’m not used to having the letters appearing and “moving” to my right as I type. Oh well…

Got to run now. Will write more soon…

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Wait For You by Elliot Yamin

Something I’ve been longing to share. I fell in love with this song when I first heard it. On the contrary, it makes me drowsy and thus, make me sleep. It depends on my mood I suppose. Right now, it’s making me sleepy (I’m sleepy). lol.

Elliot Yamin- “Wait For You”

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I’m missing you and I’m wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I’m all alone,
Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn’t give me a chance
With you not around it’s a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[CHORUS]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I’m fine it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

It’s been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away?
Everything stays the same
I just can’t do it baby
What will it take to make you come back?
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain’t like that
Why can’t you look at me, your still in love with me
Don’t leave me crying.

Baby why can’t we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough

[CHORUS]

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you’re keeping inside
That’s not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it’s the last thing I do

[CHORUS]

I’ll be waiting

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Lots of Discovery for me...

I was watching Discovery Channel and National Geographic today for two hours. I was never that interested in watching Discovery Channel nor National Geographic. It always make me want to sleep but this time, my attention was captured by a few stories. One of it was the Love Market in Northern Vietnam.

If a woman commits adultery, she will be stripped off her clothes and be food for animals or never to be seen again once sent to the jungle. Once a year, there is a day when woman can meet their ‘old’ lovers (for those who was forced to married) and do whatever they want. On that day, it is not focused on true love but sex.

Another story was about the girl from China, who had a very rare skin cancer, XP. She was only nine years old and had four tumors on her face. A doctor from UK came to her aid and made arrangements for her to get treated. The part which touched me was the conversation between her and her younger sister. (translated)

Younger sister: Che! You must come back.
Her: Yes, I will. When I get better, I will go back and see you.
Y.S: Yes, you must come back to take care of me.
Her: I will go back to take care of you. Don’t worry. You must listen to mother and do what she tells you to do, okay?

She uhad two operations and had the tumors removed. She was able to go to school without having other kids teasing her. Sadly, she died a year or so later (when she was 10 or 11, I’m not sure) because the cancer spreaded to her lungs.

Last but not least was a 7 year old boy who gave birth to his twin brother. Well, not exactly ‘give birth’. At a very early stage (zygote), there was a complication during division where the fetus will wrap around the other. (It is hard to explain this.) It seems hard to believe and for most of you, it could be your first time hearing. It was a fetus in fetu situation where the fetu is the undeveloped “twin” living as a parasite in the fetus. As the person grows older, the fetu grows too. What more? 1 out of 8 people has a twin. The womb is like a battle field where two zygotes have to fight to survive. You could have had a twin. You just didn’t know…

Friday, May 04, 2007

Being fussy...

I’ve got to admit, luck hasn’t been on my side lately. I should find a four-leave clover.

I got my hair cut today at Mei Ee’s Hair Beauty Saloon. “Snip… snip…” There goes the sound of the scissors in the hands of the hairdresser. Sometimes, I could feel the sharp point of the scissors caress my cheek or my forehead. Then, I could feel the chill running down my spine, heading towards the femur. After a while, she will compliment on how nice the hair is. I was not that convinced. Sure it looks okay at the back but my fringes looks terrible. She asked me what type of parting I wanted. I told her I wanted the “side” type and showed it to her. Then, she told me that she will cut it in a way that I can have both center parting and side parting. You know what? It’s neither now. The center parting is not exactly center and it so do not suit my style. The side parting is nearly center and it makes my hair look flat. If you ask me, yes, my hair is very important to me. It makes me feel comfortable and confident about myself if it is in a desired style. Don’t tell me that your hair isn’t that important to you, is it? If hair gel do not exist, guys won’t be able to spike their hair. I wonder how they feel about that… So, I am an unhappy and unsatisfied customer who had her fringes cut, making her hair style weird and short for her. It cost my mum RM22! Geez…. You know, I got a hair cut for RM18 in Tesco and he (Steve) does a way better job than this one. Higher in quality, lower in quantity and that makes me happy. Well, that is only a figure of speech. It does not exactly make me happy but at least I’m satisfied.

Okay, I was eating in Asia Cafe during break and I thought, “Hmm. Why not try the fried kuey teow?” When my food came, I thought it would taste good. The fried kuey teow and the prawns plus the eggs were good but not the cockles (kerang). In fact, after the first few chews, I was disgusted by the ‘liquid’ flowing as a result of being squashed. I doubt that it was even fried. It tasted so RAW… There wasn’t only one cockles but four to five big ones; they even look slimy. The lingering thought in my mind was the biology experiment involving the chicken liver. Note to self: Never eat fried kuey teow from Asia Cafe again. Speaking of biology, guess what? I had a small argument with my lab partner again, L. We are in the same group for all biology experiments [group]. This time, we were experimenting osmosis and the conflict started when I suggested that we should have time intervals for every pair of potatoes dropt into the beaker. He found no point of doing it and that was how it all started. So much for helping him adjust the microscope. There was never a day when we don’t argue over small matters. Wait, there were days… During holidays and when he doesn’t come to college. I am by the way, tolerating him to the maximum.

Was listening to: You are the one (by Elliot Yamin)

Currently listening to: What hurts the most (by Rascal Flatts)

Will be listening to: Wait for you (by Elliot Yamin)

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Cheesy Moon

Have you seen the moon tonight?

I would not have noticed the moon if it did not look like a balloon from far or cheesy yellow in colour. It reminded me of the story where the mice wanted to go to the moon because the little fella thought that the moon was made out of cheese. His friends played a prank on him by tying a big yellow balloon to the chimney. So, the little fella climbed to the roof and headed towards the balloon. When he was on the balloon, he bit it, thinking that it was cheese. Sadly, the balloon burst and the little fella went back to the house, being the laughing stock.

The moon is glowing brightly. It is no more cheesy yellow but pure white (almost). The clouds are surrounding the moon making the moon the main attraction you will see tonight. There are no stars. They sky is not dark enough. But, I have a beautiful view of the city where light from lamp posts, buildings and vehicles could be seen.

Seriously, if scientists never found out the composition of the moon, do you think people will believe that the moon is made out of cheese if there was ever one? Well, last time, people used to think that the world is flat because someone said so until scientists took a picture of earth. What do you think? If there is an easier way to go to the moon (made of cheese), then, we could probably transport all the rats and mice there! -__-ll But then, we won’t have a moon anymore after the they finish eating the moon.

What’s worse is that if they have no ground to “stand” on, they would be like asteroids- floating in space. If they get too close too earth, we might end up having a meteor of rats and mice. -___-!! *Woah, imagination gone too far*

I’m just glad that the moon isn’t really made out of cheese.