Saturday, March 31, 2007

*sigh

I showed up late for the frisbee game today. That was because my mum and I got lost in Petaling Jaya. We were so close, yet so far from Astaka field. A map, of course was uploaded online and I saw the landmarks around Astaka field as shown in the map but I still couldn’t figure out where the place was! Finally, I spotted the turning before a church which leads to Astaka field. Guess what? I missed that turning two times. I guess the third time’s the charm, huh?

I didn’t do much today. Maybe it’s because I missed two weeks of it. So, when I got there, I wasn’t ready at all. How was the game today? It was okay despite being roasted under the blazing hot sun and muddy ground. I actually miss the UM Field because there are trees to be the shade and it’s usually windy. Well, you can say that you don’t know what’s there until it is gone. But then again, next week’s practice is at UM Field. UM Field, here I come!

It’s raining now. I love it when it rains. I’m supposed to go the pasar malam tonight. I wonder if they will be selling their stuff since weather might not permit them- unlikely. I wonder there will be durians sold. Is it the durian season now? Anyway, does anyone have nice songs to recommend (besides the English and Chinese songs)? I’m looking for something different-preferably Korean/ Japanese/ other foreign language. Rumour has it that TVXQ is coming to Malaysia this year and there were other sources saying the same thing. I guess it really is a rumour after all. It’s the end of March now and I haven’t heard about them for quite sometime now.

I remember my ex-headmistress Pn. Siva who came to my class and talked to us about random things. One of the questions which I will never forget is ‘Have you felt your heart beat faster than usual when you see a boy?’ We laughed. Well, that was only because we never expected it from her! When I was a little kid, I remember that I dislike boys. I don’t know why. When see a boy, my friends and I would be ‘Eww… A boy!’ Now that I’m looking back, I was rather silly. Boys, what was your perception about girls when you were young?

Was listening to: ‘How Deep Is Your Love?’ by Se7en
Currently listening to: ‘Hello/Goodbye’ by Se7en
Current mood: Happy
Currently watching: Heroes (I’m so addicted to it.)

Friday, March 30, 2007

Busy no more

Have you ever faced the screen of the computer or laptop for hours, and for a few days? Well, I have. For one week, I have been facing the screen of my laptop; typing essays after essays. I must admit that it is pretty tiring especially when it can strain the eye. What can I say now? The busy week is finally over!

Monday: Due date for Biotechnology Competition business proposal.
Tuesday: Due date for Malaysian Studies essay.
Friday: Due date for Investigative Study Draft 1, Biology- Log of work and Human Awareness Essay outline.

It’s time to be a couch potato. (I’m just kidding.)

My first draft for my english assignment- ‘Does blogging offer more benefits than harms?’, for your information, is complete. I can’t thank Lydia, Kak Teh and Lynette enough for providing sufficient information.

There is an essay writing competition in campus with the theme ‘Horror Imaginings’. I’m still considering whether I should participate or not. The essay should be about 800-1000 words. It has to be something original, haven’t been published and is an effort of one person. I’m not sure if I have the time to think of a new story line.

I am only able to blog this much for today. I’m too exhausted to even think about the mechanisms which causes people to blush. Instead, the facts on how coffee helps to keep one alert is everywhere in my head, from the receptors to the hormones. *yawn*

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Grammar Conscious o.O

Today, I finally got to meet Lydia Teh in MPH Bangsar Village II. I never thought it was possible but it happened! She autographed two of her books which I bought. Besides Lydia, I also met Kenny, Kak Teh, Xeus and few other bloggers.

Why was I there? To get information for my English assignment. As most of you know have known, I am writing about something related to blogging: the benefits of blogging, the harms of blogging and the effects of blogging. I wonder what my English lecturer will say after listening to the recorded interview. I’m sure that she will detect the grammatical errors. I admit that I am grammar-conscious, the more I am conscious about it, the more errors I make. This hypothesis is unfortunately partially accepted. Although, I do wonder why I don’t face that problem when I speak to my friends.

These few days, I have been so stressed that my eye balls are about to pop out, my head is about to burst and my heart is about to skip a few beats. I feel like I want to give up (and this is not my first time) but I can’t. So, I’m hanging there, sacrificing my sleeping time to finish as many work as possible. I have a few assignments to finish and to worry about it is not going to help.

Somehow, I feel guilty giving work loads to my friends to finish part of the assignment. Somehow, I wish it wasn’t me who had to lead a group. Indeed, the responsibility beared is taxing and in the end, I could count on no one, not even myself. I have no confidence to proceed but it’s not like I have a choice, right? Anyway, I realised something over the past few days.
The word I said the most number of times: Nothing.

The most common reaction given by yours truly: Stare at people blurr-ly and smile.
Most of the time: I am sarcastic and gibber more than anyone else. Don’t you think?

Friday, March 23, 2007

Sanguine

Word of the day is ’sanguine’.
Teacher: Class, do you know what ’sanguine’ is?
Student: Yes, it is penguine’s brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The truth is……
–adjective
1. cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident: a sanguine disposition; sanguine expectations.
2. reddish; ruddy: a sanguine complexion.
3. (in old physiology) having blood as the predominating humor and consequently being ruddy-faced, cheerful, etc.
4. bloody; sanguinary.
5. blood-red; red.
6. Heraldry. a reddish-purple tincture.

–noun
7. a red iron-oxide crayon used in making drawings.

—Related forms

san·guine·ly, adverb

san·guin·i·ty, san·guin·ness, noun

—Synonyms 1. enthusiastic, buoyant, animated, lively, spirited.

—Antonyms 1. morose.

Now you know that sanguine isn’t exactly penguine’s brother.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Where's the chicken?

I am currently in campus grounds now with Sindhu by my side. This is my first time blogging using the computers here. Why do I want to do that when I can blog at home and have nicer keypads to type on? Well, I suppose it is because I don’t want to waste my time at home, spending a few hours thinking about what to write about. At least, I can time myself here to write something in half an hour. Furthermore, I thought I should test the Internet connection here.

Well, yesterday a group of us went to Cerebos, a factory which produces Essence of Chicken. It was mainly a talk on marketing and business in conjunction with the Biotechnology Competition. I guess it was then when I was thankful that I did not take up business. Everything was complicated to me. Nothing was scientific at all. I was lost when the manager started talking to us about influencing factors, SWOT analysis etc. I did take notes but the person in charge changed slides so fast that I was unable to copy the notes that I want. Fustrating, but I guess that’s how life is- You don’t always get what you want. Oh yeah, in the factory, someone asked me ‘Where’s the chicken?’ I knew where it was but I was just too lazy to tell her. So I said, ‘They all died and is no where to be found.’

There was a session where we tasted prune juice. I’d say that it was too concentrated, sweet and a little sour but they say that if it’s not concentrated enough, it wouldn’t give the right effects to the human body! Ridiculous? I don’t know. Do you seriously think that people would drink prune juice when they can chew and enjoy the fruit itself? Well, that’s what I think but indeed, it was just another experience you don’t get everyday.

I thought I was on writer’s block but I found my rhythm and I writing again. Another thing which happened yesterday was I called Lydia Teh. I was so nervous talking to her. I felt as if I was talking to a very important person, an artist or worst still, the prime minister (Wait, I’d probably faint before I’d even be able to utter a word). She is one of the most famous Malaysian authors which I look up to, that is why I was so nervous.

Got to go now. Bye.

Monday, March 19, 2007

That day...

That day- a day nearly a week ago.

It wasn’t that much of a special day to me although it was to every one else. I decided to wear red. I guess it was because my mum used to tell me that red brings good luck. As I dragged my feet to the bathroom, I was thinking about what I should expect in a few hours. I suppose I was more nervous to report to the head of department for my medical attachment than to look forward for the day.

When I was in the A&E department, I stared at the clock, looking at it as it ticked second by second. The time went by slowly, and for a moment, I wished that it would be forever time would travel slowly pass me. That early morning, I witnessed an external post-mortem. I guess I felt relieve that I was wearing red. *Phone vibrates*

Message: Hey what you get?

Dupdup dupdup.. My heart jumped for a milisecond. I didn’t reply. Alas, it was 10.30am. I was going to travel from Sitiawan to Ipoh that very day. As I got into the car, I slept for a whole two hours while my mum was driving. I didn’t want to tell her anything. I didn’t feel like it. For the whole two hours, I prepared myself mentally to accept what was given to me by Him. I was asking myself about how I would react if it wasn’t something I wanted. I asked myself whether I would be disappointed or vice versa. To be honest, I didn’t want to go back to my school. It didn’t matter to me anymore whether it was going to be a good thing or not.

I thought about a lot of things that day. I remembered Yew Wai telling me that those who worked hard would get what something equivalent to the efforts put in to do something. That was when I found myself asking again, “What if I thought that I worked hard when I didn’t?” I concluded that if nothing else works, I will depend on luck. 12.30pm, I reached my school, SMK (P) Methodist Ipoh.

I went to the office to ask for my results but it wasn’t there. They told me to go to the canteen. And, so I did. Running down the staircases, across the badminton court and spotted my EST teacher just to listen to what she had to say. She said that she was happy that I managed a 1A in EST. I was relieved to hear that but I had bigger fish to fry. I walked to the teacher near her and asked if my SPM results was with her. She handed me a file and I assumed that my results was there. I was hesitated to open the file and wanted to ask my mum if it was okay that I don’t collect my results but it was too late.

I opened the brown paper-like file and found a number of envelopes. Once again, I assumed that one of the envelopes has my results in it. I asked the teacher if it was okay that she doesn’t give me my results first for I wasn’t ready to take it yet. She said, “Okay. In that case, collect your certificates first.” I was confused as I had assumed wrongly. My mum stood beside me as I collected the certificates, one by one… My hands were cold and trembling. I admit that I was going to cry. I was too scared to even think about the grades I might get for History, Moral and Physics. Then, came a Form 4 student who asked my mum for my cellphone number. My mum gave it to her. Then, the Form 4 student asked my mum if she could interview me.

I thought she was looking for the wrong person when my mum asked her why she wanted to interview me. She looked puzzled, my mum looked blank while I looked blurr.

Student: You are Esther’s mum, right?

My mum: Yes, how do you know?

Student: Oh, your daughter got 10As.

My mum jumped in joy and hugged me as if she would never let go of me again. I was of course, still blurr. I thought I was dreaming. I told myself that it was not possible. Therefore, I asked her.

Me: Are you sure? 1As and 2As?

Student: Yes, you got 10As.

That was when the teacher handed me my SPM slip. 10 subjects with ‘1A satu’ was printed on it. I checked the roll number, then the i/c number and lastly, my name. Pretty silly of me… “Wow,” I said. Then, she asked me, “Oh my, you haven’t know your results yet?” Teacher said, “I was going to surprise her after she finish collecting her certificates. I was afraid that she doesn’t want to take her slip. So, I had her collect her certificates first.” Teacher was right. I did not want to take it. I didn’t cry, I was thankful, shocked, feeling random, grateful and all I could utter silently was “Thank you, God…”

I asked about my other potential classmates who I thought achieved straight 1As but it turns out that I was the only one from 5Sc2. Most of them achieved straight As though and I’m happy for them. At least being in Sc2 wasn’t as bad as how most people thought it would be. It was true that getting 10 1As didn’t matter but when I came to think about it again, it matters a lot to me, only… I don’t show it. I try to keep a low profile whenever possible.

I am grateful to my parents who sent me to tuition nearly everyday and sometimes two classes a day. I am grateful to my family for supporting me. I am thankful to have supportive friends mainly Asha, my best friend in Ipoh for listening, advising and supporting me all the time. I am thankful for having wonderful teachers who were patient with me. I’m sure I gave them a hard time when I kept on asking ‘what’, ‘why’ and ‘how’. However, I am grateful to Him the most for arranging these teachers and friends for me.

And so then, I overcame the biggest obstacle of the day. I’m glad it’s over now and at the moment, I have something more important to worry about- SAM exams and assignments. To be honest, this has indeed became a stepping stone for me to work as hard as I did for SPM. Sometimes in life, we all need a little bit of motivation to keep us going, don’t you think?

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Medical attachment

I’m back from Sitiawan after a one week attachment in Seri Manjung Hospital. I’d say that it was fantastic. It was the best experience I’ve ever had in Accident & Emergency Department. On the first night itself, I was call tagging which sort of means that I followed the doctor who was on-call until the next morning. This medical attachment became an eye-opener to what is more to be seen in the hospital. I suppose working as a doctor isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. After all, the patient’s life is in the doctor’s hands.

The medical assisstants were pretty nice to me. They are dedicated, friendly and funny. As for the doctors, I hope that they didn’t find me annoying for asking ‘What’ and ‘Why’ all the time. I may not understand what and why the diagnosis is like that but I’ll say ‘Hey, I’ve seen that before or heard about it before’ if I ever learn about it in university. The doctors were friendly and more than willing to explain things I never knew. I also got to know a group of pharmacists who accompanied me during lunchtwice. One of them could bear with me talking about irrelevant (or somehow theoretically seems true) theories. Bottom line is, it was fun and interesting!

I felt totally comfortable dealing with blood but one thing I couldn’t bear was the scene of people vomiting, the sound and the smell. It’s not like I want to smell it either and it’s not like I have a choice if it fills the whole area with it.

I suppose that’s part of it. I’ll talk about other things next time.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Is it really magic?

Finally, I’m over with tests. I’m left with three essays and one project. I’ve gotten back my results and their like ****. End of story.

Wanting to be innovative is hard. Wanting to be creative is also hard. Wanting to create a product which has never seen the face of this earth, one word–> HARD. So, how exactly do people come up with ideas? Is it like a magical thing which *poofs* appear in the mind? Oh well, if life ain’t hard, we ain’t getting anywhere.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

What WAS going on?

Hey all! First off, I apologize for the inconsistency in posting. I’ve been carried away with my homework, assignments and projects. Nevertheless, college life is still fun despite the hectic routine. I was so stressed that I became a chocolate addict for a few days. If you ever see me around college and wonder why I’m fat, I’ll tell you now, “It is because of the chocolates which tastes so sweet and there were fruits and nuts in it and that made me want more. Can you say no to chocolates?” Solution to that problem: diet and exercise. I’m not being aneroxic and besides, I too fat to be aneroxic. Capisce?

A few days ago, as I walked down the staircase from the fourth floor, a flyer caught my eye. It was another student council election. This time, it is for students from main campus. I suppose Taylor’s Business School and the American Degree Programme building is going to theirs as well. As usual, I was considering of whether I should take part or not. I came to a conclusion where I should learn how to let go.

In fact, I am taking part in a competition related to biotechnology. In a group of four, I have Sindhu, Boon Lim and Jonathan. Hopefully, we would get along well, create something new and have tonnes of fun! Yesterday, during the frisbee game, I got to know a Scottish man. He wore a [edited: kilt]. I was fascinated of course. I’ve never seen a quilt [edited: kilt] before besides on the television. He taught me where to run to and when to run to certain location. I fell down twice and have no cuts on my legs!

My dad’s colleague from South Africa arrived in Malaysia yesterday too! I suppose it was like a culture shock for him. He said that he was amazed and had no communicating problem because everyone here speaks his language too- English. -_-!! He was amazed by the food and buildings as well as the shopping malls. As you can see, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the field. We just don’t realise how green the grass is on our side.

One more week and I will be in Sitiawan for my medical attachment programme. One more week and I’ll be receiving my SPM results. :S One more week and I will be occupied with loads of assignments as well as materials for group presentation. One more week and I will be blogging about that week. This Friday is SAM Fiesta while this Thursday is Cultural Fusion something. So, one more week, what are you going to do?