Wednesday, September 28, 2005

My History Exam..

It was pretty bad. It was way much TOUGHER than what I expected. I could only answer the second page. Initially, I had this urge to hand in an empty paper. It seems that my conscience was what that made me continue. What did I do? I altered History with my story line. I know it's bad but that was all I can do than handing in an empty paper. Besides, my answers may be correct. Who knows?
The essay part to me left me speechless. I was like, "OMG, I'm gonna fail. I don't know how to answer any of this." But then again, I answered. Getting 3/10 is better than 0/10. At least I gave my best shot. To those who are wondering is this the Esther I know, yes it is. The Esther who had always suck at History but miraculously got an A for History in PMR. What can I say? Form 1-3 History was easier. Don't you think so? I guess I've got to get used to it. Maybe by the time I'm Form 5, History will be easier than I think it is. All I need is some motivation to keep me going in History.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


Second day of exam is over and there is 9 more days of torture. 7 days to a special day and 4 more days to the weekend. BM paper wasn't difficult, neither was it easy. It can be done. My comment for the English paper is also the same.
My History is terrible and I don't think that I'll do well. A B3 is good enough for me. As long as I don't fail. I don't hope to compete with others, I just want to give it my best shot and it seems like time is my fearful opponent. I can't go against time. Time is not going to wait for me and time is flying faster than I imagined. Imagine how it would be like to relive history again. Will I be able change what I did wrong?
*Sigh.. Here I am again fantasizing. The stress in my head is driving me insane. There's so many things going on in my mind. I've got to hold on not to let go. I need to believe in myself and be confident of my decisions. But I still need to make sure that there is someone to hold me in case I fall off the cliff.
I've been hurt too many times by my friends. I don't show it in front of them. I scolded by my friend(A) today thanks to the other (B). What's worse was that her scoldings made a commotion. Everyone was looking at me and I was thinking about what had offended her. At that time, I was at my lowest point. No one was backing me up. I nearly burst into tears. (B) just stared at me with her you're-problem-and-its-not-my-fault-because-you-started-it face. I was cross and I didn't know what could be done. I could only say, "I'm not going to start a fight" with deep breathe and disappointment.
However, I wish someone would have come up to me and at least console me. The whole scene is was humiliating and thank goodness teacher was not in class. There were a number of times how I wanted to gave (A) and (B) a piece of my mind but I've got to persevere. Not to fight is better than to fight. It will only make things worse. I felt as though I was hit directly in my face. I'm hurt but nobody in school knows. Nobody cared.
*Inhale and Exhale* All I need to do know is study History.. So, adieu.. = S

Monday, September 26, 2005

My mid-term essay..

I want to share an essay which I wrote for my mid-term exam. With five options given, I chose one which required me to end with '...we looked at each other and smile.' I modified 80% of the original story(i read it before) and added a tad of my own. I did not have wild imagination at that time. The words in blue were was I took from the original.
Here it goes:

"Ring...Ring..," the sound of the school bell peirced into the atmosphere. It was a training camp for all the school prefects. All prefects had to stay in school for two days, one night. During the campfire, we were assigned to our duties for the next day. Then, we were sorted into pairs. My partner was Rani. My best friend. As it was our first time camping, both of us were excited and thrilled. I set up the tent with her and sprinkled some holy water around it. Then, I placed the bible beside my sleeping bag. A few seniors came to us and said," Watch out for ghost! This school is haunted by night not by day." And off they went with their sinister laughs. How mean!

Rani and I were worried but we calmed each other. It was a silent atmosphere until Rani and I heard a sound outside the tent. We got out and we felt a breexe. It was chilly and we could hear more of the noise we heard earlier. From the field, Rani and I walked to the carpark. There we saw a little girl. A girl gressed in white with blood on it. Her hair was black and long until her waist with a bow tied neatly on her ponytail. She looked so pale. So, Rani suggested we should bring her to our tent since it was so cold outside. However, she refused. Instead, she wanted us to play with her. I went back into the tent to grab myself a jacket and one for Rani too. We played and talk. I asked her why she was there but she wouldn't tell.

I looked at my watch and it was shown 3.00am. I was tired. So, was Rani. We told the little girl that we had to get some rest but she refused to let us go. This provoked her. She went purple with rage and became furious. Her eyes was blood red and was full of hatred. Her neat hair laid back flew all over and she lifted off the ground. I was dumbfounded. Rani stuttered and said to me, " I think she's a ghost.."

"Aargh!!! Aargh!!", we screamed at the top of our voices. We tried to wake our seniors but they paid no mind to us. The ghost appeared behind us and I felt chills down my spine. My hair stood on their ends. Rani was shaking and weak at knees. She suggested that we return to outr tent immediately. I agreed. We ran into our tents and I began to say my prayers whereas Rani was reading the al-Quran. The noise we heard from inside was gone. She vanished into thin airs.

The next morning, the seniors woke us up. we told them about our strange encounter. "Don't be silly. There is no such thing as ghosts," said Asha, a friend of mine. A gardener whom heard our conversation came to Rani and I. He told us that a primary school girl was killed near our school. She was involved in a car accident. That explained the blood on her clothes! Why she wouldn't near our tent was because I sprinkled holy water around it and placed a bible in the tent, her pal face and why she could lift off the ground. Then, the gardener chuckled.

Was it true that it was a ghost or was it a figment of my imagination? I confirmed withRani if she had experience the same thing I had. She told me she did. "I am glad that we are safe but most importantly, I am glad that you were with me," she said.

On the last day of camp, we knew what only both of us had experience. Before leaving, we looked at each other and smiled.


So, feel free to critic. Story line may not be that good.My grammar is like.. (you've read it), and not really a wide range of vocabulary. I hope you enjoyed reading my essay. If only I have the mood to produce an essay like this for my English papers tomorrow. Oh well, life is unpredictable.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


Let's see. I'm freaking out due to exams tomorrow. My head has gone completely cuckoo thinking about what to write about essay. Not like I know what is coming out anyway. There will be factual essays and also stories to write, not forgetting debate and speech. One more thing that worries me is Sastera which has all the DEEP deep meaning. What more, I have to memorise or at least know the theme, message, moral values and the characteristics of each character. If I were to compare my English to my BM, my English is way WAY better. I had this season of interest in English and that is why I realised that my English has improved (not boasting here). On the other hand, when I had interest in BM early of this year my English was terrible. In what way? Well, the broken vocabulary and grammar. BM at that time was one of my favourie subjects.
Came to think about it, I learned more of English when I'm blogging or reading other people's blog like Jared's and Henry's. Most of the tought words I've learnt were mostly from their posts. I wonder.. If I can improve my English by blogging in English, should I blog in BM instead? But that would be weird.
I'm worn out today. Because I slept at 3.45am this morning and woke up at 7.00am for youth activity, I didn't have any nap in the afternoon and was studying the whole afternoon and evening, I'm pretty much 'flat'. If only the government does not hold any exams, we won't need to study our time off. But then again, without exams, we won't know our limits. I think this year the government has given too many holidays. This has made school teachers unable to finish the syllabus. (like I have said it millions of times)
So, I end today's post..

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Goodness gracious..

The results for the Malaysian Idol is out tonight. Even thought I'm not into it, both my parents are. However, I'm happy for Daniel. I went to Jusco and Tesco with my brother searching for Creative Zen Micro. It has 5GB memory, radio fm and is a voice recorder. It's about RM 849 but they only have the dummy set to show us. It's not that they don't have stock but according to them, if they take out the real set, nobody would buy it which is true.
On my way back, I could not believe my eyes. 'Drive Safely, Think of Your Loved Ones' I quote. We know that we should not drink when driving neither should we be on handphones unless it is something like hand-free-kit. But guess what? I saw a DRIVER who had one hand on his handphone and smoking! Can you believe it? What kind of driver is that?
That's a wrap.

Friday, September 23, 2005


Once again I found myself sleepwalking. The last thing I remembered was me sleeping on my table when I was studying History. When I woke up to open the door for my dad, I realised that I was in my parents bedroom! Why is this thing happening to me?
I went to school today and 11 students were absent including 4 members of the G-unit. I was thinking of not going to school tomorrow. I don't want to face the EST teacher, History teacher and Bio teacher.
It is the 23rd today and my countdown has started. 12 days to a special day! Yay! But, I must still bear in mind that exams will still be on. So, I must not fantasize too much at the moment.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I'm going nuts..

As we all know, exams are just around the corner and I think I'm going nuts. Stress, stress and STRESS!! Because of it, I can't think straight and I'm impatient. I'm short-tempered and because of it, my face is full of pimples (exaggerating here). History, Add. Maths and Morale is what worries me most now at the moment. As long as I pass, I'll be delighted.
Although doing well in Maths runs in my family but I think it doesn't go with Add. Maths. Mod. Maths on the other hand is a piece of cake. I think it's how the teacher teaches. If he/she doesn't kill our interest, that's good and vice versa.
As I was saying, I think I'm going nuts. In Bio class today, teacher explained to us why the carbon dioxide is not transported to the water but to the laminae. When he asked us where is the carbon dioxide transported to, out of nowhere I voiced out and answered "Water!".
The whole class just looked and some laughed at me. It was kind of embarasing. Not forgetting the headache I got and the class was like a morning market. I lost my patience and began to "SSHHHHHHH!!!!" them.
So, that's a wrap for today.

Monday, September 19, 2005


I just finished dinner after 1 1/2 hours of sleep. My eye was itching and it turned red. Hopefully, it gets better by tonight. I remembered sleeping in my room but when I woke up, I found myself in the living room. Whether I slept walk or not, I myelf am not sure.
I got the exams timetable today and on the third day, I have Add. Maths and History. Of all combinations. *roll eyes* I'm not even sure if I would be able to finish the chapters in time. Oh well, if I'm destined for the marks, I have no choice but to accept it, right?
I am beginning to see that Chemistry is easy. However, Add. Maths is getting tougher. I still need time to balance up everything. A special day is coming soon in more or less 2 weeks. I'm getting all excited about it but also a little disappointed because exams will be going on.
I heard this song today and it was introduced by Jasmine. It's 'You Raise Me Up' by Josh Groban. It's a very meaningful song.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

100 years..

I'm 15 for a moment;Caught in between 10 and 20;And I'm just dreaming;Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment;She feels better than ever;And we're on fire;Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you;Time to buy and time to lose15, there's never a wish better than this;When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment;Still the man, but you see I'm a they;A kid on the way;A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment;The sea is high;And I'm heading into a crisis;Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you;Time to buy, Time to lose yourself;Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you;15, there's never a wish better than this;When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by;Suddenly you're wise;Another blink of an eye;67 is gone;The sun is getting high;We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment;Dying for just another moment;And I'm just dreaming;Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you;22 I feel her too;33 you're on your way;Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you;Time to buy and time to choose;Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this;When you only got 100 years to live

A song about life. Actually it's more to age. I hope you guys would like it. This is the lyrics for 100 years by Five For Fighting.

Saturday, September 17, 2005


I celebrated my dad's birthday early today because on Wednesday, I will be as busy as a bee. I went to Jusco and I met Kumitaa, Asha's sister. I felt awkward and I have never had a proper conversation with her before.
In school, I have been called a geek//nerd for studying by someone. I mean there is no harm to studying right? I didn't care about it because I wanted to do my best in studies. That was until I phoned my friend. I asked what she was doing but she didn't want to tell me. After a long time, she finally told me. She was studying. Okay. I accept that and I don't think that she is a sore loser or anything (she told me that she doesn't want anyone to think she's one). The thing is I don't like to be called names by someone who also doesn't like to be called names.
'To be a geek is better than not being one.' my made up quote...
She could have been honest with me and honesty what that isn't in people nowadays. I find certain friends of mine who would lie just to get back at me in studies. Some would not share their knowledge with others to excel. I just abhore this type of people. I know this is a competitive world an people would do anything to be successful. Many would realise this society of ours and I may be the last to know about it. Sometimes, I think I'm a beetle brain.
Slow in understanding, speech and movement.I didn't get the DJ part.
I was going through Blogthings just now and I took a few tests.

Your Inner Child Is Surprised
You see many things through the eyes of a child.Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.You cherish all of the details in life.Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.
How Is Your Inner Child?

Your Personality Profile
You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.
A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.You are good natured and people enjoy your company.You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.
The World's Shortest Personality Test

I'm done for today. Cheerz.. =)

Friday, September 16, 2005

The Js'..

As I was reading one of my friend's blog, I felt sad. I have never expected to know that side of her. I wish I could help her but with my immature thinking, I don't think it'll help her. She is a sweet girl with a fragile heart. When I came to think about it, I have been blessed to have friends who are more mature than me. Sometimes, I feel contented with what I have but sometimes, I tend to complain when I fail.
Knowing Jared, Joo Ztat and Jasmine could be the best thing that have happened to me. I may not be good in expressing my heartful gratitude but they are friends I would never want to lose(besides the G-unit). Surprisingly, their names start with letter "J". They don't show in front of others their sensitive side. One thing I've learned from them is I should learn on how to be a good listener. Their mentality made me realised how immature I am.
At the moment, I still need to worry about finales. The pressure is building and this is not the time for me to breakdown. So, that's all for now.

Thursday, September 15, 2005


The atmosphere is getting tensed. Finales are in less than two weeks and I still haven't finish studying yet. So, looks like I would be burning the midnight oil for quite some time. Suffering until 7/10 (when my exams finish) and I'm on top of the world!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Radio DJ

It isn't my day today. I poked my finger with a stick today when I was eating jambu. It bleeded and I knew someone felt disgusted. I tried not to make a big deal out of it and was focused in my studies. I am still slow in revision considering that there are so many problems I'm going through. I have to work harder. I didn't watch tv today. I love tv and it is the one thing that can make me feel relax, besides blogging and participate in forums.
Tomorrow is the audition for MGS radio dj and unfortunately for me, I will be heading off to Jelapang when I thought it was KL to make passport. Most probably I'll be going overseas during the holidays. There goes my chance to become a dj until I consulted Izzati about this. She is one of those who are in charge of MGS radio. She told me that she'll talk Pn. Jamnah through and see what she (Pn. Jamnah) can do about it.
My fate rest in her hands. Haha..rite.. Well, if I don't get the part, I'll still be fine with it. The reasons for me to become a dj is not only to gain experience but I want to serve the school after giving up applying for prefect. I have been failing every prefect interview since primary. Maybe I'm not meant to play that role.
There's more or less one year until I finish SPM and go for Form 6. I can't wait those moment to arrive but yet I doubt I would want Form 5 to be longer.
I'm very tired and I have been burning the midnight oil for a very long time since mid-term. I could really sleep in if I have the chance to do so (with my parents permission). So, tata for now..

Monday, September 12, 2005

What goes on in my brain..

Mr. Yeong didn't come in for class. He'll be away for 4 days. That's good to know. It's been nearly a week that I'm worried about finales. MGS radio is up and they are finding students to become DJ. I was thinking about applying but I'm not sure if I have the courage to speak. Besides, it's only in the morning. How bad could it be right?
I had lack of sleep yesterday because my alarm clock ran late. When I thought it was only 12.00midnight, it was actually 1.00am. So, I only had 4 hours 15 minutes of sleep. As I was sleeping in the bus, I hit my head on the bars when the bus crossed bumpy roads. =(
I realised that I have grown fatter by the day and more pimples by the hour. Is chocolate the ease of all stress? I've got to find another way to not feel so stressed. I still remember when I used to rare fishes, parrot fish, I would feed them A LOT of fish food. That was how I use to release stress; by torturing the fishes. =)
Your Brain's Pattern
You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.
What Pattern Is Your Brain?

So, that's pretty much about today...

Saturday, September 10, 2005


My dad is finally home! Yay! With chocalate and souvenirs.
Well, today's oral wasn't so bad. I kind of panicked but I think the teacher understood. My topic was on 'Stress'. After a few seconds, she asked me if I was under stress.I replied with a yes. She then asked me why. When I was about to answer, I was flabbergasted, held back by something but I didn't know what. I took a deep breathe and answered her.
In less than 3 minutes, I was done. My friends were surprised that mine ended early. As for me, I was over the moon. BM lisan was not on. I was glad because I wasn't prepared. On the other hand, I was a little mad at the person who said that BM lisan wil be on today. I was burning the midnight oil yesterday writing down my part of the forum (lisan).
I'll be going to Jusco later with my family. It's been a week since I've been there. I'm going to burn a hole in my parents pocket. LOL... That is if I could find suitable clothes. The clothes in my closet are getting smaller for me.
I have been listening to Rain's songs as well as BoA's and I find both of them equally good.

So, until next time... =)

Friday, September 09, 2005


Tomorrow is a Saturday and we'll be having school. It's torture to go to school on a Sat. because Saturdays are suppose to be rest days from the stress but it seems that the government has made it a school day for the next 7 weeks. Could you believe it? I will be having exams on Saturdays too!
It just sucks. I'm having Eng. oral test and BM lisan. What made it worse was when I found out I will be the first to sit for oral. Face to face with teacher. It's just sad. I wish I don't need to go to school tomorrow but do I have a choice?
In Eng class today, I read about stress. Overstressed and understresed. Obviously, I am not understressed. There are 2 types of overstressed. One is acute stress and the other is chronic stress. I guess the one I'm facing is chronic stress. It just goes on and on and on. Never ending homework.
Thanks to my teachers who weren't able to finish the syllables in time, they just rushed through the chapters. My Chemistry teacher finishes 1 chapter in a week. It is only the crust she taught us and ka-boom, magically we all "UNDERSTAND".
My dad is returning from overseas today and I pray that he has a safe flight home. So, that's it for today.

Thursday, September 08, 2005


Today is the beginning of G-unit ( Me, Lena, Suhaida, Asha,Vanyasha). "G" stands for 'Girls' if I'm not mistaken. About the name, we know that it's kind of dicetak rompak but the meaning behind is different. =)
Our nickname is pretty weird....
Vanaysha: .::5cents::.
Suhaida: .::10cents::.
Lena: .::20cents::.
Esther (me): .::30cents::.
Asha: .::40cents::.
During BM tuition, we had 'ujian gempar' and it was terrible. Going unprepared and sitting there for two hours to write 1 karangan, 1 rumusan, 2 komsas questions and tatabahasa. It was torture but yet I survived!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


It's been a few days since I posted my last entry. Exams are coming I had to start studying. I have been pretty busy and tired. Just two days ago, the air-cond broke down. So, it's kind of warm until yesterday when I decided to put two fans in a room. It hasn't been going well for me lately. I am addicted to songs from and I am TRYING to cultivate an interest for Physics, Chemistry and History. Two weeks to finales and I guess I will be posting once in a blue moon. I am so worried. What if I don't do well? What if I can't go beyond my expectations or my parents?
"What if..", that is common. I just hope to do better than my first term and do my best. If I was still in KL, I bet I will be doing better than this. But then again, if I didn't come to Ipoh, I wouldn't have met friends whom I never thought I'd be close with, bloggers (including from other states), and teachers.

...My Closest Friends...
School: Lena, Asha, Suhaida (love you guys lots.. )
Tuition: Joo Ztat, Kevin, Kian Teng, Bradley, Mandeep
Bloggers: Jared, Jasmine (keep on blogging you two)
Teachers: Mr. Chee (F.3 Science&M3), late Mr.Siva (F3 M3), -name unknown-(F3 Sej), Mr. Paul (F3 Eng), Mr. Federick (F3 Sains), Pn. Hamidah (F3 BM), Mr. Apu(Geo), Mr. Mano (Bio), Mr. Cheong (Phy), Mr Hin (Mod. M3&+M3), Mr Chan (Eng) - thank you for teaching me-

So long for now.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

"Empress Wu"..

Well, I have lose the virtual pet and added an extra button. I've changed the positions of a few things. Does it look better now or does it just look the same?
I went to three shopping centres and was shopping for clothes. But it seems that the new stocks do not suit me and it's difficult to get mt size probably because I'm fatter than before. =(
So, I just got books. Lots of books. One of them was "Empress Wu" written by Lilian Too. I've read a small part of it before in her magazine which my mum bought.
It's about a brilliant and beautiful concubine captivates the heart and mind of an emperor rises to become the only woman ever to ascend the dragon throne.
Set in seventh century Tang Dynasty China, a golden time of imperial splendour when the ancient capital of Changan is the gliterring center of the world.
It's a nice story and you should read it too if you have the chance to get it.
So, that's it.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Promoting some stuff...

My bro is planning to get a digi camera. As you can see, it's nice isn't it? It's Casio Ex-S500. I hope by the time he gets it, I won't be hogging the camera all the time.

It's been a few days since I posted something. Well, I came to know about and it's really cool because you get to select songs for your visitors to listen to. But, I haven't been able to put it here yet but soon when I figure it out. There is a variety of songs which includes Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Malay and more.

There is an MGS forum coming up, created by Cai En with the help of her bro who created the SMI forum. So, Mgs-ians from Ipoh out there, come support our school. I have been busy these few days figuring out Physics.

I was reading the newspaper today and Samsung Z500 caught my eye. Besides that, I came across the hurricane which hit New Orleans. It was devastating when I imagined many lost their homes and their loss after the Tsunami.

The Form 5s' will be sitting for their SPM trials soon. So, good luck to you all. Do your best and leave the rest to God. Hakuna Matata!!!

So, I end today's post. ~Adieu~