Saturday, July 30, 2005

Pocket burnt... =( but =)

I treated my mum with sushi today at Sushi King. The bill was RM110. After discount (luckily), RM95. Paid, RM80. Government tax and Service charges, RM13. Spending quality time with my mum, PRICELESS..=) We ate to our heart's content.
Then, we walked around. Window shopping for me but for her, she was fortunate to get two pants and 1 blouse. Tomorrow, it's my turn to burn a whole in her pocket. Muahahaha. We are going to JUSCO! Yay!

Dilemma???

As plain as the nose on your face, I have argued with the whole group. Matters got a lot more worst after another Nosy Parker joined in their strike towards me. Four against one when it was suppose to be one on one. Three Nosy Parkers and three hypocrites. On the first day, she'll treat you nice and criticises your best friend like hell. The next day, you'll find her with your best friend and treating you like dirt. She thinks she's all that? Other people cannot joke with her but she can hurt other people's feeling by saying its HER joke. She is god damn sensitive and criticises a lot! She has deleted my contact from her friendster account and her boyfriend's friendster account.
What is it with people anyway.. Everyone had been made different to give different opinions based on their own point of view. Don't tell me that everyone must have the same opinion or follow what the person who-has-her-nose-high-up-in-the-air does. What's the big idea? Obviously, I am not a romantic person and I complimented on something which is romantic but I feel disgusted and she went mad. That is so unreasonable.
Then, let me introduce you to Nosy Parker 2. She just sticks her nose in and made matters worse. Her words are sharper than a knife. 'Hypocrites can hurt other people's feelings but other people must never hurt a hypocrites' feelings'. I NEARLY called her a bitch once but the words didn't come out because I knew the trouble would come and what do you know. She brought up the matter to the other hypocrites. I heard her say to my ex-best friend, "She is not your best friend. She is only acting as your best friend." I mean what's her problem? What right does she have to interfere? Doesn't it occur to her that not many people can stand her rudeness? People change and I am not who I am last time.
For what I know, I have learned to be tough. Friends don't last forever. Do they? Misunderstandings occur and some people take them seriously. I still treat her as my best friend and I have never acted as one. Since the beginning of the year, I have always thought of her as an older sister and I have respects for her. Yet, I can't believe that she had influenced other people until they are turning their backs on me. She doesn't know that one of her closest friend now was the one who was criticising her like HELL yesterday. I still hope that we will be friends back again. But on second thought, would that be a good idea? I am contented if she talks to me. I don't know what to think anymore. She can back stab me all she wants, betray my secrets I have shared with her before but she should know that I have never betray her secrets nor back stab her badly.
Are friends what everyone needs? They are those who make other people suffer and make new a new person out of other people. Not for the better but I think it's worse. They should realise whether their actions were right or wrong, for the better of everyone else or worse. No matter how mad you are at someone, you should at least find it in your heart to forgive.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Worst Day Ever..

Simple Plan
6 a.m.
The clock is ringing
I need to spend an hour snoozing
'Cause I don't think I'm gonna make it
I punch inI'm still sleeping
Watch the clock,
But it's not moving
'Cause every day is never ending
I need to work I'm always spending
[Chorus:]
And I feel likeI'm living the worst day
Over and over again
And I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever
Yesterday was the worst day ever
And tomorrow won't be better
It's history repeating (on and on)
Summer plans are gone forever
I traded them in for dishpan water
And every day is never ending
I need to work I'm always spending
[Chorus]
it's so long
I can't go on
it's so long
I can't go on
[Chorus]

WHY? Let's start off early in the morning. Everyone was busy doing the Peka Kimia and Laporan Moral. People were copying each other and panicking time to make sure this time the report was written in the proper, correct, precisely exactly the way she wants it. Then, when we were busy writing our reports, Mr. Wong wanted all the chairs from our class. Damn it larr..
Then, I was chatting with other friends since my so-called best friend stopped talking to me again and I don't care now. There were students from my class who were insulting the cheerleaders.
If you're not a cheerleader, you will not understand. People think that it's funny to insult people especially cheerleaders. Well, I think not! They inconsiderate people who think they are the greatest one of all.
Right..worst day continues with me spraining my ankle from doing a pipe jump. The last post for the last routine was changed to scorpion and there came my backache. Since they cheered so fast, I did a high-V instead.
I went to BM tuition brain-drained or how others may call it brain-washed. Whatever the teacher said went into the right ear and came out from the left ear. Nothing was absorbed. I was hungry for the whole day. Didn't eat breakfast, 3 sotong balls n 1 sausage for recess, ice cream and 2 packets of water for lunch. Imagine eating that until dinner. I am so exhausted now. If only the time would stop for me when I sleep so that sleep would be longer. So, I shall paw off here... =)

Thursday, July 28, 2005

*Argghh...

It's so stupid! I have to do my Peka Kimia again thanks to a teacher who never taught well and and expects her students to boost up her reputation in school. She complained and complained. Whatever she said to us fell on deaf ears UNFORTUNATELY. For one thing, she doesn't know how to differentiate 'katod' and 'anod' making me MORE confused than usual! She wants it tomorrow and the 'perbincangan' is so damn LONG! She is charging RM60 for a one-to-one class and RM40 for three in a group. I heard from my friend that she is a superb teacher when it comes to tuition, but WHY on earth can't she teach us the "superb way as described"??
My tablemate was trying to cool me down after what happened yesterday during the presentation. Came to think about it, I was in the state of humiliation nation. Imagine if you were reading something and someone just immitated you in some low-tone voice and order (yes, order! NOT ask) you to read again. So, you read it again for the sake of that person until you come to this part where every group didn't know the answer and was hoping for your answer. That someone makes the sound of suspens da-da-da-daaaa....Then, the whole class would stare at you as your face turns red. Furthermore, you were the first to present! It's so humiliating. Unfortunately, there wasn't any turtle shell for you to hide in.
Now, I have to concentrate in my Moral project. Have to pass it up tomorrow and it totally wracks. Anyway, I'll be having cheerleading performance tomorrow for "Hari Penghargaan". So, I'll end today like this.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

HATE!!!

My day started well today but didn't end as well as I EXPECTED. There were practices for "Hari Penghargaan" and also cheerleading for a short while. When I got back to class, my friend dared me to do two toe touch in Bio class. She said that she'll give me RM3. Well, I agreed. It's only 2 toe touch. So, my day continued until 2.00 pm. I had to water the "Taman Angkat" my class was assigned to. Only my friend and I were on duty today. One ran off and the other was absent. My friend sms-ed me today to stop messaging him/contacting him in any way because his gf cut herself. The excuse: She thought I like him and hates me. I really hate MC girls and most of the SMI boys (of cos not Jared) . They are just the same. Immature, over exaggerating and DRAMATIC making a small problem a BIG problem.
Now the conflict is at the Bio class. I was excited as usual. I was looking forward to talk to my 'inspiration-er'. Something snapped. I was playful during tuition and I laughed a lot. I said " Hi" to him a lot of times and he replied. We were soon assigned to plan an experiment. He asked if I could lend him part of my group's work. I turned him down. I felt really bad but at the same time I was afraid that my group members would not let.
Then, I did the dare. Doing 2 toe touch in front of him. He remained speechless because I told him not to comment. His friend asked if my friend would give him RM3 if he does cheerleading moves too. That part was hilarious. After he finished his plans, I told him that I was sorry. I wasn't sure if he heard. I just felt as though he gave the look as though I am a snobbish person. I wish I had lend him the work but it's too late. I mean would you lend your group work if your other friends were going to oppose, spread rumours and pick on you? I'd rather not!
I was also hurt by my godbrother. He didn't talk to me. When we talk for like 10 seconds after Add.Maths class, we were about to have one of those sarcastic fights. I was chosen to present our group project and he (my godbrother) kept on making those irritating, nerve-wracking annoying sounds which distracted me.
Soon, I just snapped to be someone else. I felt empty. I couldn't describe what I felt but I was sad. Perhaps I was just sensitive. Perhaps another side of me said " Today, you have faced a lot. You shouldn't run away from your feelings." Suddenly I realised that I have been hurt a lot. I have been picked by my friends. One thing I realise about my classmates is that they gossip, back stab and they don't give a damn about it! They are like heartless humans who only knows how to complain and be rude. They become a kiss-up when they want something and when you ask something, they'll just push you away with that "what-do-u-want? you-are-taking-up-my-time! speak-or-don't-say-a-word-to-me. Get-LOST! "stare. I really hate it.
Enough for today...

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Mixture of Feelings?!

I came back from school feeling unwell. I puked in school today due to my friend's disgusting actions. She took off her socks and was playing with it. Then, she stuffed it in my other friends pencil box. It's just digusting. Imagine taking out any stationeries with your friend's sweat smell. What more if it's the foot! It's DISGUSTING. Then, during I changed my place to the front because she was playing with her toes. During class, she tapped me on my back with the hands which have touched the sweat! I freaked out and I screamed.
The whole class was looking at me and they started laughing. But thanks to her, we didn't die of boredom during EST. Or else, we would have to go on with Volcanoes, Avalanches, Nutrition and some other crap.Woo-hooh! Chemistry teacher didn't come to school today. However, English teacher was furious when she was waiting in the AVA room for 25 minutes for us.
Tomorrow, I'll be having Biology tuition class. YAY! That also means I will be seeing the person I admire. Aww... I can't wait until tomorrow. I wish the clock would stop there to replace the time I didn't talk/see him. I know that I have been really annoying & irritating to him. I don't know why. It's just that I tend to act different when I talk to him. I don't know how to show him the funny me. All these while I feel like I am a pain in his butt especially when he goes online and chat with me for a while and SOMETIMES he *pOOffs*.. Gone without a trace... I know I shouldn't over react about this. Maybe he got cut from the internet but I feel uneasy about it. It's like he is avoiding me. Is he really doing that? This song came into my mind out of no where and I thought of sharing it with y'all. Here it is....

"The First Cut Is The Deepest" by Sheryl Crow...
I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and he's taken just all that i have
but if you want i'll try to love again
baby, i'll try to love again, but i know...

the first cut is the deepest
baby i know
the first cut is the deepest
but when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

i still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that i've cried
and i'm sure gonna give you a try
if you want i'll try to love again,(try)
baby, i'll try to love again, but i know...

OOHHH,
the first cut is the deepest
baby i know
the first cut is the deepest
but when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
but when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

i still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that i've cried
but i'm sure gonna give you a try
cuz if you want i'll try to love again
(try to love again, try to love again)
baby,i'll try to love again but i know,

OOHHH....
the first cut is the deepest
baby i know
the first cut is the deepest
when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst

OOHHH,
the first cut is the deepest
baby i know (baby i know)
the first cut is the deepest
try to love again...

TATA ppl..Till next time... =)

Monday, July 25, 2005

Annoyed.. >=(

I was so tired yesterday that I have forgotten to write about yesterday. Okay. Yesterday, I went to 2 shopping malls (Jusco and Parade). After the renovation, Parade looks so much better. My day started of early in the morning around 9.30am. My mum, my 2 aunties and I went to Jusco until 2 something and we headed off to Parade. Since it was the beginning of sales, mum bought me 4 -tshirts. =)
Today, I we went to 3 shopping malls. Mum brought us to Udea Ocean to get some clothe material for my aunt. Then, we went to the mall which was near to the Hillcity College. It was BORING and damn warm. Finally, we went to Tesco for a late lunch.
I feel that I am beginning to loose my temper day by day. I really hate it but I can't control it. It's just that one of my two aunts is really irritating. First, she accused me of something I didn't do. Next, she talked behind my back. She thinks it's funny but I don't. When I went shopping with mum, she kept on saying that I am someone that only knows how to spend money. Always want to look at everything. Thank God she's going back this Tuesday.
At least my the other aunt is more open-minded and speaks my mind. She can go shopping with me and watch what I watch (cartoons) and even English Movies. She knows that I am not a very patient person and she's nice to me. Besides the fact that she is an English-educated person, I think she is one of the closes and the best aunt.
Stop here for now. Chiaow.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

My day today??

Cheerleaders were asked to stay after assembly to practice the so-called new routine. It turned out to be only one short cheer . Then, we practiced after school. Other cheerleaders were chatting and I decided to do a front hand spring. I did it around 5 times until the 6th time, I fell on my head. It hurt obiously. However, it was exciting. An achievement. =)
I had gastric and lost appetite. Add together with headache and neck-ache.*speechless During tuition, my stomache was only hungry for food. Thank goodness today's dinner was considered quite luxurious for me. Hunger makes every food taste good.
Tonight, I'll be watching tv until late night. I told my mum about S. As all mothers would usually say, "You are still young. There are many guys out there next time when you go to university." I guess she is right. Maybe I only really admire him. He is nearly everything a perfect guy is. He listens but so far I haven't gotten any advice from him yet. I wish to tell soon. Maybe in the next Biology tuition.
Adeiu y'all!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Love Sick? NO!

I am beginning to love Chemistry, Physics and Add. Maths now. Only if I understand. Lessons in school was consider ok because teachers did not come in for 5 periods (3 hours 20 minutes). YAY!
Tuition was as interesting as it was. When there was a break, I let Joo Ztat read my tuition essay book and he was laughing like a mad person but it was impressing. He told me that I was good at making stories which aren't true in reality but hilarious in stories.
I was just thinking of S. I thought I would receive a message from him but he wasn't online. I'll be more sick at heart if I keep on thinking. Maybe it's because he is like my idol..my inspiration to do things.
I missed BM classes today. My tummy went upset all of a sudden. I don't know why. I slept for 2 hours and I felt so much better. To me, laughter may not be the best medicine. Sleep is.
So, I conclude for today. Adieu.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Exhausted+Digusted=Dighausted =S

I had Biology class in school today and we were studying about the digestive system. I was cool and fun! Then, we analysed the structure and the location of the organs in the rat and rabbit. It was so cool. But soon, the 'cool' became changed. When I reached home, I didn't have any apetite to eat. Everytime I took a bite of the chicken, I would think about the rabbit's digestive system. So disgusting!!
I don't know why but I feel quite tired these few days. Maybe it's because of the lack of sleep. Maybe it's because of my daily activities. I chatted with him today. I was on top of the world. My friend said he's snobbish. Well, I don't think so. I think he's one of the nicest guys I knew besides his best friend.
I have cheerleading tomorrow but I'm not attending the practice. The cheerleaders have gone nuts. They had 2 weeks to come up with a new routine but they wasted time. Now, teacher wants to check out our new routine in 3 days. Oh, boy..will be brainstorming for steps for a few days. I am brain-drained now. So, I don't want to continue. Therefore, I'll stop here. Chiaow.. =)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Sleep...

Well, my tablemate spoke to me again. Everything is nearly back to normal. I think it's official that I like him for more or less 5 1/2 months. Reasons?? He's nice and open-minded. He's kinda smart and he has a mind of his own. He has attractive eyes and a captivating smile... =)
Today was quite tiring. I don't feel like going to school anymore. Maybe it's due to the fact that I have to wake up around 5.15am every morning! It's torture.
Thank goodness I have finished my homework. Now I can sleep early in peace for 5 hours? Sleeping to me is like a blink of an eye. It happens so fast that I feel as though I don't have enough rest. Best part about sleeping? It's DREAMING!!
So, I think I am gonna sleep now. Adios Amigos!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Random thoughts..

I didn't talk to her. As usual I am so-called the 'antagonis'. I tried talking to her a lot of times. What does she think I am? think I am made out of metal? I have limits too. I am eternally patient with her and I feel as though I am going to blow off any time now. I'll see how she deals with Biology tuition tomorrow. Maybe she'll go. Maybe she won't. Maybe she'll talk to me.
I know that guys have changed their perspective about me since that day I loss my temper and after another friend of mine told them something bad about me. I am just being who and what I want to be. Must I follow the so-called ideal friend? Can't I be wild even if I am a girl? Can't I be sarcastic instead of being a "sweet" girl? Can't I be "everything is fine with me" instead of "oh my gosh! this is not ok and go all dramtic/sensitive" ? I know I am different. I feel as though I am not excepted when I am with friends. My jokes are lame. So what? My fashion sense is bad. So what? I am a geek. So what? I just don't fit in my friends . Surprisingly, I get along well with guys. Not all but quite a number .
That's all for today. I bid adieu. =)

Monday, July 18, 2005

Just nice =S

Great! Had another argument with my tablemate. It's my fault and I didn't know what got into me. I think I have regreted it. I don't know why. I guess it was of one message which bugged me. Questions always pop in my mind. I know she is close to the other girl. She can share everything with her. Why can't she share it with me? I don't feel like talking to her in school and in tuition. I don't feel like sitting with her in tuition either. Maybe I'll change my mind on that day. I feel crushed. It's like I can't stand back up anymore. I don't have the spirit to do anything. How can she be the one that crushes it. I know things come and things go. Everything is history and I feel as though I am being treated like an alien. Will she talk back to me again? Will we even remain friends? I think our friendship has ended today. It can't be saved. Is there still hope?? I don't know..

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Indecisive...

I went to Jaya Jusco today and I went to a few 'Watch Shops' to find the suitable watch. I had two watches. One broke while the other one, the strap torned . So, my mum and I were on the look out for watches which is stainless steel or aluminium so that I won't have problems wearing them.
I went to Time House and I found three choices. Elle, Bum Equipment and Esprit. I liked all three of them but I couldn't make my decision. I feel that it is a waste if don't get the other ones if I get this one and vice versa. I also saw another Elle watch in Tesco which gave a me a WOW impression. Feeling indecisive, I have decided to continue my search tomorrow and think about it overnight.
A new shop 'Espirit' opened in Jusco. I went in to check it out. Turned out that there were many people as well and quite stuffy. However, the Espirit here can't be compared with the Espirit in KL. There isn't much variety compared to KL.
I woke up rather early today thanks to my brother's alarm at 7.00am. Then, I shut it and went back to sleep. Soon, my mum woke me up at 9.00am and asked me to clean up my room. No peaceful sleep at all. I hope I get a peaceful sleep tonight with NO interruptions. Therefore, I bid y'all adios.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

School...

It's nearly a week I had this blog. Sorry, Jared I didn't tell you earlier.
Anyway, school sucks. BM teacher was going through with us this prosa tradisional and told us that even she herself do not understand! Mod. M3 teacher didn't come in for class even though he came to school. I wonder why... BI teacher was like "I've got a discipline case!" she has been saying the same thing for the past few days and missed lessons with us. Finally, Physics as usual was BORING!!! It always make me sleep. Fortunately, sitting in the first row prevents me from sleeping because teacher always look at my direction.
I finally passed up my Physics Folio and I got back my BM Essay paper. I can't believe that I got 97/100. I think the teacher must have made a mistake or she just went cuckoo while marking my paper. I was suppose to go for English tuition but because of the heavy rain, I can't go. So, time off for me and since it's the weekend, I should go find some entertainment. That's it for now. Chiaow! =)

Friday, July 15, 2005

Crap..

My form teacher changed all of our tablemates today and no more sitting wif my best friend. All of us were separated. It felt so wrong. I have a new tablemate. It's not that I can't accept her, it's just that she told me that she doesn't want to sit with me at that particular place. Teacher is just cruel but I know.. like every teacher would say "It's for your own good". Total crap! It's our second last year and I think we should sit with who we are happy with. Then, produce good results for end-term. If we are all unhappy, how can we study when that is one of the distractions? Anyway, I don't think that it is a problem for me except during History periods because it is a definite that I will dose off.
The amount of homework I have now is going down. Yay! Anyway, got to go now.. Till next time..

Thursday, July 14, 2005

=.=^ Sigh..

Ok. Homework is piling up as usual. During Physics class, these group of SMC girls took our place and acted so innocent. I had to sit at the back with my tablemate and we could barely concentrate because there were difficulties of looking at the board and writing down the answers.
We did an experiment in school today and the best part was barbequing the chicken skin and groundnuts. Tomorrow, we'll be testing out DCPIP. I haven't finish my Physics folio and i just smudged the front cover. How fustrating!
Better go continue my work. Till then, chiaow...

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Brrpp..

I slept for 2 periods in school today since teacher wasn't in. It was raining so heavily yesterday night until disturbed my 'peaceful' sleep. So, school was ok. Classes weren't exciting as usual. After school, I had cheerleading activities and extra Chemistry classes. I couldn't make my decision on which to attend to. So, I decided that I'll go for cheerleading. Unfortunately, I have made the wrong decision. I should have gone for extra classes because the rest of the cheerleaders were wasting my 'precious' time. I was disturbed until the rest of the day because I just can't forgive myself for making the wrong decision.
Biology tuition class was hilarious. We were studying about herbivors and about how the food digests in their stomache. When teacher was explaining about cows throwing up the food to the mouth, Joo Ztat and some other guys were making sound effects of people vomiting which was disgusting but hilarious at the same time. There was a guy whose name is unidentified said " I shall never see another cow again" and the whole class started laughing.
I saw him today. He's so cute. He smiled at me and talked to me. I am just happy to have him added in my friendster account and have him as a friend.
I think I'll stop here. Boy, I am so exhausted not to mention that I don't feel well since these few days, it had been raining.*Yawnn*

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

OK day...

Thank God my homework is nearly done. I had a sarcastic fight with my tablemate. Her "best friend" was getting on to every single nerves I've got. She talks like she has this British accent and she doesn't respect people. She can even be talking to teachers with no manners. My friends and I made up this joke that we should get each other ear-plugs.
Now, I am thinking of someone. I wish I could tell him how I feel but yet I am not even sure IF I have feelings for him. We are in the same tuition but I still think its too early for me to fall for someone. All I can do is to wait for the right time to come for the ONE. Maybe he'll come into my life one day, maybe he won't...
I came over this song today.

KELLY CLARKSON LYRICS "Because Of You"
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

~And I shall paw off here...~
<names will not be mentioned for privacy>

Monday, July 11, 2005

Boring...

Today, I went for a movie 'War of the Worlds' with my brother. My comments on it is the movie was OK only. Throughout the 2 hours, what i watched was a family running, saving themselves and getting themselves safely to Boston. It's not lame but it is. That's my opinion and i guess i should have gone for Initial D. I still have like loads of homework from teachers which I haven't finish doing them. Early of Form 4 was like a honeymoon year but towards the end of Form 4, it's like a nightmare. That's it for today.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Yo wassup y'all..

This is my first posting for a new blog. I just think that it's time for me to start over and be SERIOUS on blogging instead of crapping. So, if you have any comments, just drop me some comments aite??